Strange Day Indeed...advice Please?

So my day started off as a typical day, kissed girlfriend as she left for work, I went to the gym for boxing training then to work out, when done I look at my phone, and its the girl whom I desperately want to be a in relationship with and whom I`m trying to forget cause of everything that`s happened...I should have just ignored her, but I gave in and didn`t, we talked, asked if she wanted coffees, turned into taking her and her friend to lunch, then dropping her friend off, and going back to her this point every idea in the world is going through my head, wtf am I doing here again! We smoked a joint, sat down in the living room, chatted for a bit, the entire time I just wanted to kiss her and tell her how much I love her and want her back...but couldn`t, I keep my pride in check and said I have to leave...I don`t know what could have happened, but right now I`m confused, what does all this mean, I`m trying not to be the bad guy in all of this, but it felt sooo good to see her and talk with her, I have not told my current girlfriend anything, made sure I washed my clothes, covered myself in body spray, cleaned my **** why am I hiding this when nothing happened, I did have the intention that something could happen, just us two there all alone...but I couldnt do it...yet it might happen again, and again, and just from checking her place out, I think she has moved on, and its only a matter of time before she finds out I have a girlfriend, yet I`m stuck in the past because I`m not expecting there to be a future with this girl....what do I do, say, handle this?
1986Scott 1986Scott
22-25, M
Dec 4, 2012