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Extremely Sad

Almost every day I cry from the pain, my heart is constantly feeling broken. Why.... Because stupid me has been dating a married man for almost 3 years. The worse part is I work with this man and its so painful to be around him. I'm almost always jealous and arguing with him. I feel he has this strong hold over me. I know he will never ever leave his wife and I know that if he cheats on his wife then why not me. I'm nothing just sex. He says he loves me but I can't accept those words. It's so painful that I have even contemplating ending my life. I need to get out but I don't see how when we work together. I can't leave my job because I can't afford to be without work and my pay is a decent one. Please any help/advice would be appreciated. I just feel like I'm drowning and no one would help me.
Puppy3135 Puppy3135 36-40 7 Responses Dec 4, 2012

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If this man loved you, he would have left his wife by now! You have waisted 3yrs of your life to this jerk... don't waist anymore! You need to do some deep soul searching and find yourself. I say your first step would be to find a new job. Regaurdless if your current job is well paying, being in contact with this man on a day to day basis is sooooo unhealthy if you are to pick yourself out of this mess! And remember...with some self confidence and motivation, you are not the lost cause you think you are! Good luck =)

you deserve to feel the way you do

I would just look for another job while you are working there.

I kind of understand the "hold" thing...

To be honest if I gave you any advice I would feel like I don't practice what I teach...Its hard. Keep looking for someone new...it might take a while, but eventually you will meet someone a little more important that you want to spend your time on.

Or just totally focus on your work. Some people feel a sort of instance rewarding feeling the more they accomplish in their work. It takes all of their attention.

Maybe you can call an anonymous hotline number to vent. Also, consider trying to meet new men as often as possible...the more other guys you get to know, the more likely it is you will fall for someone else. Good luck :)

I tried meeting new men but I made excuses and not like them. One guy was so nice and I could not do it. I felt I was cheating. Like I said its a strong hold and I have never been like this. Always strong woman in control of my own life.

I respect that. Just some possible suggestions for you: to make a list of all the things you do not like about this man...the way he hurts you knowingly, disrespects you and his wife, etc. because honestly any man who cheats so consistently and makes you feel so bad about yourself is not worth your time and you could be much happier with someone else. Tell the guy you are seeing how upset he makes you feel. What he's doing is not fair to you and I'm sure he knows that. Since you don't feel able to date someone else now, you might want to make friends with some genuinely nice guys...maybe eventually you will start caring about them in a new way after a long time....or just have some great friends for support. And when you feel the worst, making the effort to spend time with friends, even if you don't feel like it, can really help you feel better (at least it does for me). If you can find a friend who will accept you for who you are, you might feel better about everything if you talk to them...after all, no one's perfect and maybe you'll feel a lot closer to your friend afterwards. :)

help yourself and leave your job

I try but a good job it's hard to find these days. Everyday I look for a new one.

I'm so sorry. I don't have a solution for you unfortunately. All I can do is offer a friendly ear if you want to vent and a virtual hug, would give you a real one if you were nearby. Please do not end your own life, no one is worth that. Your life is too precious for you to end it.

Thank you for your response. I try everyday but I get broken down and get weak.

I know it can be hard but you are not alone in the world, lean on friends for support during the trying times

No, I can't. I don't want anyone to know. It's embarrassing. I just keep it all inside.

Well we can't have you contemplating suicide. Please talk to me, talk to a friend, talk to someone, don't go to that extreme. Keep looking for a new job. I know it is hard, I haven't been in your situation but I have been in a work environment where I was sexually harassed by two different people and I didn't tell anyone, I thought I could handle it all on my own and eventually almost lost my job, car, house, everything because I was so uncomfortable at work

It's just that I cry all the time, even at work. Women at work want to be with him and that hurts sooo much. Im just not strong enough to deal with this and cant tell anyone. I used to be so happy at work, smiling at times even singing in my office. Now I don't talk all day and go to the bathroom to cry. :(

I am so sorry... wish I could make it better

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