Going Through ****

When i was little my life looked perfect I was so wrapped up in my perfect little world.When I was ten my grandma died.It took a huge impact because she was the only person who made me feel special.I am started to forget her because I have the worst memory.I can sometimes remember her saying to me ayyy mami.

Then there where my parents.When I was 11 or 12 I lost my innocence(for those of you who don't know what that is there is a time of our lives where the is a fall of innocence a time which we are never the same).I started noticing that my parents don't love each other.They would fight alot call each other names in spanish .At first I thought it was normal but then i started looking at my cousin's parents.They would fight but then they would always make up.I found myself up at 2 trying to go to sleep but I keep asking why can't my parents be like other peoples.

My dad was another major problem he was a trucker so I was use to him leaving for 3 months then coming back for a week.This summer he left for mexico and he hasn't come back it's december 4.Whenever I think of him I think of the ryhme eminem made HE SAID HE'D BE BACK HE PINKYPROMISED,I DON'T THINK HE'S HONEST.I was so mad and sad because my friend said he's not a good dad but then on my birthday this year on october 5.I didn't see him there so I started think and then he wasn't at my other party's and I don't even think I remember him in my first comunion.

I was also the one who made people laugh so I didn't have a best friend to tell my secrets to.I was alone keeping all there feelings inside me all the secrets.I then started to cry every night until one day I felt better I didn't feel the pain I thought it was the best thing ever or so I thought.I had atually forgotten how to feel happiness,love,pain,sadness and anger.I was numb.I felt like a thousand knives were stabbing be but I couldn't feel the pain.

worst part no one has ever said I love you to me no not my mom.I then was listening to the radio when a song came on that made me question my whole with just these single words

WHAT DO I STAND FOR?
id152151 id152151
26-30
Dec 5, 2012