/rant.

I don't know when I lost myself.
I don't know when I became this person that just exists.

I'm not sad, but I'm not entirely sure I'm happy (and if you don't know if you're happy, you're probably not)
I go through nothing and even that nothing, makes me crumble.

I don't have nearly the amount of strength that I used to and I don't remember giving up. I don't recall a day that I just decided "hey, I don't think I'm worth it anymore" and I don't remember when or why I decided to hate everyone who knows that they are. The truth of the matter is that it all comes down to jealousy- I'm jealous of them. I'm jealous that they're pretty, I envy that they're happy and I look at them with so much hatred for that.

Writing this down, seeing it laid out it front of me, I see that it's a ridiculous statement. It's childish and immature to hate someone for no actual reason but when I'm standing there, hearing that they are enjoying their life... I convince myself that they're faking it, especially since I have to.

maybe this is just a moment of weakness, but this moment is lasting longer than I enjoy...
TheArtOfSerendipity TheArtOfSerendipity
22-25, F
2 Responses Dec 5, 2012

I always liked reading ur stories, very put together. if u want someone to talk to, feel free to talk to me if u want to. Ur gorgeous, quit thinking ur not cute :p

you're sweet, thank you. sorry for the late response:p

Wow... Articulated Beautifully.

hah, thank you