Tongue-tied

The worse thing a person can experience is living with a guilty conscience. I'm on the edge of breaking down. I have a lot of problems which keep me irritated. I can never talk. When I used to tell my mother she'd get furstrated and think that I have lost it. Dad went all mad and wanted to send me to a shrink, but I refused. After that I started pretending that everything is good and well. Inside I'm dying.
If my parents' reaction was like that, how if I told a friend? He or she will avoid my company for sure. What's worse than feeling guilty is the effect of guilt on my mind. It's always busy, always working, always analyzing. I can't concentrate. Even writing this stpry right now is difficult. My grades have degraded because I'm emotionally sick. I can't sit still for one hour and study. I'm bored of this situation. I'm bored from being different. why can't I be like all people? why does my brain function in this stupi way?!! If it's not going to get well soon, I hope that I die and vanish from earth.
ScarletGS ScarletGS
18-21, F
Dec 6, 2012