Somebody Help Me.. I Need Some Guidance..

First off, I am a young adult (25 y.o.), unemployed, and I have quite a conservative family. I have tried a lot of times to come to a decision about my problem that I really think should be resolved at the soonest possible time. The issue is I am pregnant and am currently thinking of having an abortion. :(

There are a lots of things to consider and I know it is unfair for the embryo ( 3-4 weeks approximately) for me to think of such act. It's just that I grew up being a 'goody two-shoes' person, always doing what's right, being an example to my younger relatives, always being trusted with responsibilities, doing great with my studies -- making me feel that I need to abort the baby to live up to these 'expectations'. I know that this makes me an evil person and I have been going back-and-forth between saying yes or no to the pregnancy.

Here are the pros of my situation: having a new addition to our family since a parent of mine died less than a year ago, I will be able to stay here in my hometown since I am supposed to leave the country for an opportunity abroad, I am on the right age for starting a family, my boyfriend is totally up for having the baby, and of course having a baby would be a great gift to me.

Now for the cons: people will be disappointed of me, my family may reprimand me for being stupid, the opportunity abroad would have to be cancelled, I would have to deal with the consequences of my actions, expectations may change, negative reactions may be received, and I am not sure if me and my boyfriend can afford to have the baby as his salary, I think, will not be enough for him to support me and his family both at the same time.

Additional worries if I do proceed with the abortion includes future conception problems, emotional turmoil, and living with regrets for the rest of my life.

I am just sharing my story just to know if someone may be able to shed some light into the situation and help me realize as to what is best for the same. I want to hear some feedback from a stranger's point of view as I would not like to be judged by those who know me beforehand. Help me please. It feels like I'm dying here. :(
pitycrown pitycrown
22-25, F
5 Responses Dec 7, 2012

Life is sacred no matter how small and silent. Protect the defenceless. We're talking about a human being, not an experiment.

My PERSONAL FEELINGS--I don't believe in abortion. Have you thought about adoption? There are many loving couples who have tried unsuccessfully to have children and for whatever reason are not able to. Downside is that you will carry your child for 9 months and will have to sign away ALL rights. You will never see him/her again. Can you live with that? Really live with that? You made a choice to lie down with your friend and this is the consequence of that decision (I apologize if I am being too rough). It is just that I need for you to be aware that what is growing inside of you is not a clump of cells it is a human life. If you have an abortion you will always have the regret of your decision. What would he/she look like? What would he/she grow up to be like ? You get the point ? Again my apologies for being rough it is just a sensitive issue with me. Yes your family will be upset with you. But they will respect you for having the baby in the long run. You are going to have to be strong and say "It is my baby,I am an adult and I am making an adult decision !". I won't lie it will be very difficult to have the baby. But there is free programs and assistance available. Check around. start at the board of health first they will steer you in the right direction. Last point is this. It takes two people to make a baby. The boyfriend is going to have to get a job or maybe even two jobs to help pay for things, It is part of the maturing process as an adult. Good Luck sweetie.

This is a ****** situation, I would suggest sitting down with your family and telling them up front about your pregnancy and the sooner the better. Keeping this sort of information from them is going to way on you to the point its going to cause a lot more stress than what your currently going through. Two things will either happen one their happy loving and supporting or two their upset and angry. What ever the out come you should not be pressured by anyone into aborting or keeping the baby. I don't recommend abortion, it causes way to much heart ache and anguish. Look at alternatives such as adoption. You have options. Also whoever the father of your baby is should be with you when you come to terms with your family. The responsibility does not solely lie with you it takes two to make a baby not one. If he will not support you then confide in someone who will and will be there for you when the time comes to make it known. The sooner you do this the better. Ultimately its up to you.

I've known several people who have had "miscarriages" and they have not regretted it.
Who says it's immoral? If you decide to go ahead, nobody needs to know. Do it on the QT.
Just do it thru a reputable place. Forget about what people think they will get over it and if they don't that's their problem. Best of luck...

Congradulations you are now in a elite class known as mother. Was this planned NO. But like it or not you are now responsible for another life.
Don't worry about what others think. They don't count. The only thing that does is that life growing inside of you.
It is the most precious gift God can bestow on a couple. Love it and nurture it. It is a part of you, your mate and God
Keep it safe. All the rest will work itself out.
My love to you your boyfriend and most importantly the baby.