My Love

Is gone. I was with this girl for seven years. I'm 25. I broke it off the day after Thanksgiving, and now Christmas is coming up. We talked about getting married, making babies, and living a life together. I had to break it off because I hated her for things she had done in regards to my family and life. I missed out on a lot because of her, and hated her attitude towards my family and friends...basically anything that took my attention away from her was not allowed. What a brat. But I love her desperately, and the relationship had really gotten better. She had begun to turn around and relax and understand what I needed. It just took seven years to get there. I was so done and jaded at that point, I haven't been able to bring myself to give my love to her and even be romantic for the last year or so. It was just a big block in my emotional expression.

But now I cannot stop thinking about her. She is a wonderful woman and I love her so much. I gave so much of my life to her, it is absolutely devastating to not have her around me any more. She blocked my number and won't respond to me any more. I would like to go see her family, with whom I formed deep and loving relationships, but I cannot even do that. And on top of all of this, she was the only thing I put effort towards, and as such I now have a severe deficit in my life. I have no one to talk to, no shoulder to cry on. I am spinning out of control and doing self-abusive things with minimal regard for my health and wellness. I am hurting right now. And all I want is the woman I love to give me a big hug.
tmart42 tmart42
22-25, M
Dec 23, 2012