Dont Judge Me I Need Support

I went right back to the source of my pain. I dont know why I keep hurting myself like this. I think its because Ive never been rejected before or more like used really and because of who he is. Im also in denial that he would treat me this way. I find myself making excuses for him like; he may be bipolar or have passive aggressive disorder, although some of the signs are there. I keep hoping one day he will want to see me. If he at least apologize and admit his fault and stop blaming me for everything, maybe I can move on. Right now, he has been nice to me through emails and text. But I know before long he is gonna turn on me and blame me for the reason he doesnt want to talk to me anylonger. But still, I keep holding on hoping that he calls and asks me to come over. Ive never acted this way towards a man. Never. I just dont understand why I am now. Im slightly embarrassed because of my age. Its the second half of my life and the last half. I promised myself it would be the best half. I still have yet to make that happen. Woe is me...
MsSweetea MsSweetea
51-55, F
2 Responses Jan 6, 2013

I hope you are feeling better ....

i know just what your going thu, it is so hard at times, no one can relate to it unless they are going thu the same. i am here if you need someone to chat with, just to help get it off you chest, i have not cryed so much, and i too could use a friend