Post

Loneliness

Well I don't really know how I'm supposed to do this around here but I'll just go with it. Basically I am a teenager, I'm turning 16 in a few months, and I have big problems trying to figure out what I want to do with my life and I just feel lonely and I don't know what to do.
When people first meet me they think that I don't have problems at all, that my life is so amazing just because my family's financial state is pretty good and I got into a really good highschool (second best in the whole country) and I'm pretty much nice to everyone who talks to me. Everything seems perfect from the outside but it's not.
First of all, I have like no friends, besides some people on the internet. I'm not like a loner or anything, I love hanging out with people, I'm really outgoing, but it seems that nobody really wants me around at parties or just simple group outings to the park. I'm that one girl that nobody hates nor loves, I'm just there, you know what I mean? It might be because I'm pretty fat, I don't know, but it's really painful. It feels like if I'd die right there nobody would notice.
Second of all, everybody expects me to be the perfect kid, the one that never screws up... they expect me to be succesfull in life. My father puts alot of pressure on me. I'm not saying he doesn't love me, he actually loves me to death but it just feels like I'll never be good enough for him. All the good grades, I could do without them, but I would hate dissapointing him. I don't know what I should do to make him proud but also feel happy myself. Oh and the worst part, I don't even know what I want to do with my future. I don't have any talents, any passions I could make a career of. I don't know how I could ever handle college or a job, I'm just so pathetic.
Third of all, I constanly feel like the biggest loser out there because I'm like the only one of my friends who has never had a boyfriend. I just want to know how it feels to have someone by your side, someone who truly cares about how your day was or about your wishes. I never felt that and it seems like I never will. I feel like I'll turn out to be 40 and still single. Even tho I'm pretty fat I don't think that's the reason why I don't get any male attention. I mean, I see girls who are chubbier than me and they have boyfriends and guys are all over them. I just don't get what I'm doing wrong. I just want to feel loved and needed
You might think I'm just a spoiled teen after you read this and I don't know I could be. But right now these are my problems and I can't find any solutions.

I am lonely. I need someone to talk to.

Thank you for reading. <3
hiddenfeelings hiddenfeelings 13-15, F 14 Responses Jan 8, 2013

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Don't think you have to have everything figured out today. Part of life is enjoying the journey. Enjoy being a young woman for now :) The rest will come in time.

No one is here to judge you! A lot of people understand including me! We are still young and although you feel you're going nowhere you will see everything will be okay! Message me any time Hun! Xx

if u want the perfect boyfriend then dont search for him, a person will come straight to you...trust me i have a boyfriend and hes 29...im only 16 but i feel so much for him. ive been with him for 2 and a half months and i absolutely love the feeling of someone wanting you...but if you are with a person who doesnt want you and pretends to want you then that will hurt you...you will find love but just let it come to you.

thank you for the advice and also congrats on finding your prince charming! haha good luck!

take each day as it comes sweety - you will be fine. Your ambitious and driven which will be great and be useful to you in the future.

Do not give yourself a hard time - happy to talk to

You should get a dog. It is a proven fact that animals can help with depression and even illness, The second thing I have to suggest is that if your dad really and truly does love you, he'll listen to anything you say. You are his princess and you need to feel like a princess inside.

well i have two dogs indeed but my parents sent them to my grandparents because they got too big and we live in a flat lol.

my dad listens to me, he tries to understand but he just can't. he wants me to be smarter than him, more succesful, which is kind of hard because he is a really intelligent man, he is like my definition of perfection haha. and i don't know how i could ever overcome that

oh and forgot to tell you! thank you for the advice!

Hey Hidden. That sounds remarkable like my school days. I know you don't want to hear this but thing do turn out. Guys will come. but your at the age where the guys are still relatively immature. If you ever need to chat, vent or need a joke, just msg me.

thank you for the support! i've noticed guys my age are really immature and stupid but ... sometimes it's just hard you know?

Absolutly it's hard. Can't tell you anythin different I affraid. You seem like an intelligent and well adjusted young lady so I have no doubt in you. Just don't let it engulf you. Talk and let it out.

hey i really think you just need to relax
take some time for you self i am a single man and understand how you feel alone but be your self. things with your dad will change you just need to focus on other things other than being alone
that is easier said than done i know. just remember you do have family that loves you
if you want to talk i will yry to help

I know the feeling. You're not pathetic and you don't sound like a spoiled teen. You sound like a really amazing person. It all gets better some day. Unfortunately we just don't know when that day will be. I'm here for you if you need someone to talk to. And don't worry you will find someone. I know where you are coming from. Trust me I do. So I mean it, if you need someone to talk to. I am here. (:

I understand your pain and I also like the good comments to you. I have a 17 year old daughter and I live through her pain every single day. And no matter how many times I tell her that things will get better she doesn't believe me. I tell her what my counselor tells me: believe that I believe. I grew up just like you and in the same home environment as you. I'm 51 years old. My first boyfriend and only boyfriend whom I met in 1980 is my husband of almost 25 years. My life is certainly not how or what I expected. But it's a comfortable one..much of the time. Problems go away but there are many others to deal with. I see the teenage life out there today and I see everyday all the expectations of figuring out your life at such a young age??? Why? I dont think I could go through the stress and pressures of being a teen in today's world. But.... Youre going to be faced with many decisions throughout your life.... They're all life changing. Not every decision you make today is going to change tomorrow Try to enjoy the little things in life ok. I'm here for you in spirit.

thank you for your kind words! i really apreciate it! &lt;3

and wow i never thought i'd find such nice and caring people in one place!

thank you thank you thank you!

And your not pathetic!I don't wanna hear you say that to anny one about yourself or to your self! Feeling pathetic for a bit(not more Than one hr) is Ok,than we go back to loonly,depressed, left out and so on,never use that word again....;-)
Without the jokes,... When you think these thinks,you could unnoticeable reflect this to others,and it might show in your appearance, that effects the people hanging with Hang wth. But that's not what we want is it.. We want meture brave sexy lady.... Witch you are....fill in anny positive skill,you wanna bring out to the world greetz
Jvspucca

thank you for your advice, i never thought of it that way!

and wow you're like the first person who really cares about me like... there have always been people trying to get me out of this phase or whatever people call it but the fact that you're trying so hard is more important to me than the actual advice, do you get me? thank you for you beautiul beautiful words!

Hi hun,
You sound similar to me when I was your age. I never thought it would come, but I am now 21 and although life still has its ups and downs, everything is finally getting better. I had a tumour on my nose as a kid (removed when i was 12) and i felt so unwanted and that nobody would ever love me, but I did meet someone and now we are engaged and its all coming together. Hang in there sweetie, dont let go, it WILL get better I promise; just know that everything changes in a few years time, its just getting there thats the struggle :( I have a part time retail job; nothing special, but it gets me through life. Try and find a hobby or interest that you really love and focus on that, helps alot :)
Best of luck :)

wow you really are a strong person! i hope it will all turn alright, like you said. it's nice to see im not the only one tho haha

thank you !

Just stay strong and talk to people on this website im 16 and i can related to you i had the same problems i really had no friends and i stayed single for a long time but little by little my life was turning good i am living good right now and you do have friends everyone on this website is our friends and is our family just stay strong and independent and everything will get better

It is life and loneliness will end tomorrow.. You will get the right option tomorrow.. Your life will be opposite from as it is today.. Don't worry.. It will be fine...

i hope so! but it just seems like everyday is getting worse and worse. and it's all building up inside me, i think i might aswell just blow up at some point. thank you tho!

My pleasure dear.... It is how i think in such conditions.. I wish you get what you like..

Hang on girl,hang on... Your time is yet to come.. Not having a boyfriend,the greater your first exp will be. Try talking chatting or so on the internet Mabey talk to that one guy that you secretly like, just talk,not planning wedding. No just kidding. Feel the love of your environment, do the things you want....... Sorry not lecturing,what do I know.... Your a great girl...

i pray to god that you are right! but it just seems that my time will never come... it's like everybody is growing up doing all the things and leaving me behind. and the boy i like is way too good for me... i talk to him but he would never like me that way, i know im not his type, i just need to get over him, but i don't know how. i've been liking him for 3 years now (i know im pathetic lol). and it's hard to do what i want... all i feel is the pressure to be perfect in all the ways possible, i just don't want to dissapoint anyone

...of course you have pressure oing what people want for you and their expectations, but it is you that have to deal with. pls do not think Abby guy is out of reach cause he would be way outta your line or so. You see that is not positive thinking. You may not be his type or so but your once again cool meture and great girl. That you haven't had much exp.in love is not what most teens your age can say,I know but consider them being way to early..some already have had 3or more exp. I'm trying to say that even your they only one without,it doesn't mean their is something wrong with you.... serously try not to confuse the truth with the opion,of the bigger part of the world. Or actions in this case. Really 16 is not a terrible age for not having a boyfriend,again think positive talk with random people,just to have conversation,see it as an assignment.. Talk,flirt,laugh with diffrend people,so when you meet that guy you like,you kinda know what to say and so. There are 10.0000 guys your age waiting to talk to you,internet helps too,I believe. Just talk,and it's possible you like one of them back??? Have a good day,or night.Dep on the continent your in!:-) with love

Thank you for your kind words i really feel better now. &lt;3