Dumped For Younger Model

It's a long story, to cut it short my husband left me for his 22 year old girlfriend (we're both mid 30s) almost a week ago. I'm so alone. I have no-one to talk to about this or just to spend time with to make each second less torturous. We've been together since we were teenagers - I'm lost!!
I'm even avoiding my teenage son because I don't want to try to explain what's happened, wtf am I supposed to say??
This is my reward for abandoning all other realtionships in my life in favour of him.

I just want to talk, about anything really, to make time pass a little quicker maybe.
x12E45x x12E45x
31-35, F
12 Responses Jan 11, 2013

i know i am a stranger but i hear the pain in your message just hang on in there it will take time, and a lot of tears will probabally fall before you feel right again but you will .......here if you need to chat

It is difficult to function under these conditions. I made a list of the most basic things (shower, take medication, eat, etc') and tried each day to do those things whether I felt like it or not. I called my friends and built a support system consisting of people who allowed me to talk about whatever I was feeling. I know it's impossible to not think about all that's happened (hugs). I'm glad you finally got some rest, people here will definitely support you in your efforts to get through this.

I can't give you advice on how to cope but I can say that your not alone. My 12 year relationship ended just before christmas. We were together since 19 and have two kids. I can't stop crying and am having trouble functioning. I'm so confused because he keeps coming over and holding, kissing, making love to me. The other night we talked for hours and then he came over and spent the night. We mostly cuddled but he also told me that he thinks he is catching feelings for a girl. I wanna puke just thinking about it. My heart is broken but I can't seem to say no. He even asked me to go away with him on his job training. (Just me and him) I want this to work but just don't want to get hurt if it doesn't! So, I can honestly say that I get it and if you need to talk let me know.

Wow, that's probably worse, I mean it's awful having to deal with him acting as though I don't exist and that all these years mean nothing but what you're being put through must be on another level completely, the way he's playing with you just isn't right.
I imagine you spend a lot of time as I do, sitting trying to think of something to do that won't remind me of him (whilst crying of course) - there is nothing... everything reminds me of him, how can it not after so long?

How old are your kids?

They are 3 and 10. My daughter gets it but I'm sure is confused by him kissing and saying he loves me all the time. My son is just attached to my hip and doesn't want much to do with him. I still make him go on visits though. Today is hard because I know where he is and can't get it out of my head. I don't have family or friends that understand. They tried to put me in the hospital because according to them I should be over it.

How is your son taking the breakup. I have to say that avoiding your son might not be the way to handle it. He is probably confused and upset. It might do you some good. I know when I was crying the other day my son patted my head and kissed me. For a moment I felt whole again.

Thank you everyone.

I'm just so lost right now and even though I asked for people to talk to, once the offer was there I did not know what to say, I'm consumed with anger and sadness and can't bring my mind to focus on anything else.
The good thing is that now 6 days in I have finally had a night's sleep - so maybe things will get better from here.

Regarding my son, we're close, always have been and I can talk to him - but this time I have no idea what to say...

t doesn't matter if you share it or not, but I recommend that you write down everything that happened from the beginning, almost like chapters. If you want to share then send it by all means. If not then keep it for you.
God luck. Fingers crossed for you

Oh my! That would be a long and difficult task! I'll need a box of tissues.

Thanks

It's a good method and very cathartic. You'll be OK. This too shall pass.

I am so sorry that you're going through this. I've been in your position and it is extremely painful. I remember feeling utterly devastated and wondering what "I" had done (or failed to do) that resulted in him cheating. I didn't realize it then but his affair(s) had nothing to do with me; they were however, statements about "his" lack of integrity. I hope you have a strong support system and focus on taking care of yourself (and your son).

Be gentle with yourself...

Terrible, I hate cheaters but the truth is you're better off without him. If he was looking for someone else he was not happy and being in an unhappy relationship is not a fun place to be. So enjoy doing what you want to do for once! You are free, you don't have any one to answer too!

It happens, just like those girls who leave their man for older more mature males. It is a natural part of human attraction for males to want females who are more capable of bearing their children. Just as females are more attracted to older males who are more established and capable of providing for their children.

Also, given what you said about being together so long. You know, life changes a great deal between your teenage years and your adult years. Who is to say that he could no longer see what caused him to fall in love with you.

I say do what I am planning on doing. Go out and break some poor guy's/girl's heart. Go out and experience what you gave up all those years ago. Date, have flings, have one night stands, tease someone, date 4 guys at once. Go out and live life.

I'm very sorry to hear.

Message me anytime. Ill be there for you!

he doesnt deserve your love, he will either grow to treat her in the same way or she will break his heart, either way it should be none of your concern because you have a brighter future ahead of you, it is not too late to find a much better man. no matter how long you were with him, what matters is that you should not blame yourself, blame him. besides you look gorgeous in your photo, i dont care if shes a model because you have a heart and a pretty face. that counts for more, right?

Don't bottle it up, let it out.. oh, and (in a calm manner) torch his motor!

If you want me to say that he's an arse-half (takes two of him to make an arse-whole) then take it as read, he's vermin. I can't make it better and you aren't looking for that from me. I'm here if you need to talk. No judgement, say what you like. ming102102@hotmail.com.
Btw he'll most likely be back in a few weeks with his (short) tale between his legs and if you've any self respect you won't take him back. M

I was "rewarded" that way. Different circumstances, same pain. When confronted with those difficult questions, I learned to just square my shoulders, look the person in the eye and somewhat defiantly answer their question truthfully. You might not want to be "standoffish" with your son, but make that first answer about your husband direct and to the point. If he(your son) wants more details, that opens the door for a more toned down explanation.
After that, I have no advice. I'm still in the WTF mode with my "reward". But at least the truth is out there.
Hey, I'm new to this site. Found it yesterday and have nobody to talk to. And I'm not sure I would know if someone was attempting to talk to me. I'll talk if you want.