I Don't Know What To Do Anymore.

I dont know what to write so I will pour my heart out, I need someone who knows more than me, I live in england but know nothing of it, I need psychiatric help but I dont know how to get it, Last night after a week of self healing, looking for jobs, getting close to my parents, I had hoped my life would turn around from the depressing, self loathing life ive lived the past few years since we moved here, how wrong I would be proven to be.. I took a drink with me when I went out, thinking nothing of it I started drinking at the party, I mingled and chatted more than ive ever done, I really hoped my life was going in a good direction, then once I started feeling slightly tipsy I was walking around to chat to other people when I came across a packet of ****, WHY.. I dont have a clue as to the reason for me stealing them, but I did and I have ruined many great friendships Because of that, many being nearly all! I dont know what to do, I thought I was over this.. I lost the best job I could dream of because I stole a small sum of money that came to be of no use other than losing me this job, honestly I want to die, I really do, im a christian so the way I see it is if I kill myself I go to hell... so really I cant do what I know will sort everything, its just.. right there.. out of my reach, I really just want someone to talk to who understands what im going through and can help me in england with psychiatrists or therapists or whatever I need, I dont know what to do anymore, I want to be dead.
An Ep User An EP User
Jan 13, 2013