Sabotage

I am my own worst enemy. I have destroyed every good thing that has ever entered my life. And now I am alone with the possibility of never learning from my repeated mistakes. All I have ever wanted, all I have ever needed I have run from when it is presented before me. If I can touch it, see it, smell it then I need to destroy it. Like ripping the delicate wings off of a beautiful butterfly and as it dies I wonder why I just did what I did. I regret it. I cry. I apologize. I beg for it to go back to being whole. Beautiful and undamaged. But I ask the impossible. Too many times now. Years spent trying to fix the unfixable. Only to begin again and to have it start all over again. Why do I do this to myself? Why can't I just be happy?
nessfromonett nessfromonett
26-30, F
1 Response Jan 14, 2013

Some tears are made of acid, that won't change the fact that they're a part of you. Accepting your toxicity is the first step towards working towards a more soothing future.

It's been hard. And a long time coming but I finally think I am making progress in the right direction. I know the mistakes I have made in the past and I am determined to never repeat them again.