Trying To Find Myself Love Again

I am living in a new city with my husband to be and my 9 year old son. I was always a loner, but I always had a handful of true friends. Well, as time has gone on and with the move I find that instead of being overwhelmed with joy, I'm overcome with loneliness. I have made new friends but I just don't feel like I can open up to new people about my life. I spent almost 18 years of my life in a cloud of smoke literally. I was addicted to both cigarettes and marijuana. I have very recently quit both in hopes that I would begin to feel more happiness, but I don't on top of that I feel like I'm getting worse.

I have always been taught to be strong and to never let people know your weakness' but I'm finding it harder and harder not to fall apart at the slightest thing. I feel like no one understands me. I want so badly to have friends to hang with that help me open up to new things. I can't quite get it to come together.

I almost don't know what to do with myself anymore. I used to run to my cigarettes and drugs for comfort, but now I don't have that either. I'm going through withdraw and I'm very irritable and mean to both my fiance and my son.
I just don't know what to do with myself.

Any advice would help

KikiB1977 KikiB1977
Jan 20, 2013