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I Have A Problem

I'm not afraid to say it I DO have a problem with the way my minds thinks. It's Embarrassing to say but I have problems with my parents having sex, talking about it to each other , or it even being on my mind.
It's mostly the main reason why I get in trouble.
I usually over hear them talking about it. But to them their either joking around or I hear them wrong. I hate thinking about it, thinking that I'm in the other room sleeping and so are my brothers with our door wide open.
Tonight I over heard my mom asking my step dad mike if he wake up a little bit early and could pack our lunches tomorrow morning since he was working in town. Mike said "well I have to wake up early anyways" she said why, there was silents, and then they laughed. I went to my room crying without them hearing me and I locked my door, and went to my bathroom to get the makeup off my face.
About five minutes later my mom yelled lets go, because we had to leave and get something. I yelled down I don't want to go trying to hold back the tears but it didn't work my mom yelled what's the matter and I said nothing. She didnt believe it, so she ran up to see why I was crying.
I told her i heard what they said about mike getting up early and when I did she made up 100 different excuses. first she said "why? To make your lunch!?" I said no, why both of them had to get up. She got what I was saying and said "don't listen to what mike says his kidding" I told her I knew she was lying and I just wanted to be alone, she wanted me to come but I can't stand to be in the car with both of them.
I feel like I'm really alone, and I'm the only one who over thinks about their parents having sex. Please anyone who knows what I'm going through leave a comment or something. I hate feeling so hurt and think I'm a crazy person who needs to get my head checked please help.
KTmary24 KTmary24 13-15 1 Response Jan 23, 2013

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I find that I have mixed feeling about sex in general- how it relates to me as a young adult, as well as expectation on such behavior versus how I was raised - which I am learning to reconcile. I accept myself as a sexual being.

However, whenever it comes up in my mind about my PARENTS having sex- that's...just something I hate to have come to mind. I know its a 'natural part of human life' and etc- I'm "okay" with other people doing it- and one day myself.

I think its that thinking about them in a sexual way- even just being sexual amongst themselves, opens up thoughts and connotations most people never have (and certainly don't want to have lol) about their parents. Yes, we accept that mom has X and dad has Y and both have desires to do Z, but putting them, our parents, in the same category as other people having sex (many- in my opinion, who do so a bit too freely and indiscriminately), as well as all of the FEELINGS towards such people- removes them from the pedestal or exclusive category we reserve just them- and throw them in the muck with everything/one else. And that's just wrong. :/

At least that's how I see it.

It's generally best not to think about it.
At all. and if you, distract yourself. It's way too easy to get caught up in the details and asking yourself too many questions that you do NOT want the answer to.

Thank you<3 I'm glad I'm not the only one