I Need Someone to Talk to

Hurting

By: nowanna86

Written on January 30th, 2013

First off i want to say im glad there is a forum like this. I dont know where to start. Im 26 and i feel stagnant, hurt, sad, angry, and lost. Whenever i try to express to someone about these feelings the responses i get are " Can we talk about something else?. Your story is too sad". On some level i agree. My story is sad, but that doesnt mean i dont deserve a listening ear like everybody else. Growing up in foster homes all my life has affected me in ways i cant really describe. But i think the the worst part is i have no one to talk to about how i feel. Ive never had any resolution, no apologies, no real reasons why, no explanations. Im forced to hold everything in. im forced to be strong even when i have no strength left. Im forced to fall down and pick myself up over and over again with no help, no support. I feel now i cant really take too much more. not only do i have to deal with my past i also have to deal with the present and with no outlet its becoming increasingly hard. i am affected by everything now. my cup is full and anything that is added just runs over. prayer helps, but only for the moment. i dont know how much more i can take, if anything at all. i want to be released of this depression that runs my life, but how? how do i stop crying at the drop of a hat, when i used to be strong. how do i reach out for help, knowing i will get rejected. how do i move on when im weighed down by my past. ive lost all my fight and that makes me the saddest i think. i do want to be happy, but im not sure what that feels like and how to get there on my own? times like this i wish i had a Mother to tell me "everything is going to be ok" or a Father to say "dont cry babygirl" or a brother to say "you can always talk to me sis" or a friend to hug me. im not a bad person so i dont see why ive been deprived of these simple things...

By: nowanna86

Age: 26-30

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8 responses

loserwastedlife

Hi,
From what i read about you i this story you are too amazing and strong. To have lived your life from one foster home to another and still pick yourself up again and again is just too lovable and i have a lot of respect for you.. Here, you have to understand that if you do not have something does not mean that you do not deserve it, it also does not mean that you were or are a bad person.
Your situation can be looked at in a positive way. see if you had everything, you would be like us, weak and useless, now that you know what it is like to be in a situation like yours you are at a level of understanding and maturity like not many can be.

Feb 1
1 like
missanthope

"...i wish i had a Mother to tell me "everything is going to be ok" or a Father to say "dont cry babygirl" or a brother to say "you can always talk to me sis" or a friend to hug me."
I once said almost the same words to a counselor and he said to me, "Well you don't get that, you - don't - get - that. That wasn't the hand you were delt. We don't all get the perfect family or even close to it. You have to accept it and figure out what YOU are going to do for YOU going forward." I don't know why but that just really was an "AH HA" moment for me. It's been yrs since then and I haven't wasted any time feeling sad that I don't have a real family.
I do think everything happens for a reason and we will understand it on the other side.

Jan 31
1 like
ChrisMM7

I've had the same thing happen to me only difference is, i have a family but they partly ruined my life, if you want to talk i'm here for you message me any time.

Jan 30
2 likes
darksheer1

Your strength has gotten you this far. Remember that and rely on it. It helps me even on the days where I am really struggling.

Jan 30
2 likes
morogoro

Yes as you've said need someone to talk to. and who will show empathy, give support. Talking is like a pressure valve for the head. talking about a problem will cut them down to size, whereas without talking the problem seems bigger than they are. To find someone to talk to relieve my mind has not been easy. Only place I've been able to find someone to talk with has been in the church where religious leaders, volunteers who give service to the church do listen and the most they can do is feel sorry for me/my condition. To get support have to rely on myself. The world feels empty but am trying. Reading, listening to good music gives me solace. EP gives a place to express my feelings and get some support/comments from viewers. You can count on all here, hugs.

Jan 30
3 likes
- nowanna86
  you took some words right out my mouth. thank you for reading. hugs back to you :-)
  
  Jan 30
  1 like
ruby4

You are literally screaming out for help, and the unfortunate truth is that it is rare that you will find people who will understand and give you useful feedback. You have unresolved issues that you feel you need answers for in order to live a "normal happy life". I have advice that i think will be able to give you some insight on the matter. Please dont feel alone because you are not. Empathy is one of my strongest attributes as well as objectivity. Im 25 and come frome a rough background, now i am finishing up my B.A. of applied behavioral sciences with , will be applying for grad school for doc degree psychology/neuroscience. Understanding and helping people is my passion!
Please feel free to message me i would be glad to just listen, and offer any advice that i can give to you.

Jan 30
4 likes
roxid1089

Hey, I am far luckier than you are, but I've been through depressed times (I still fight depression everyday, but yeah - I'm fighting and I'm okay!) and it may help to talk to me. I think you are strong inside, your strength is just dormant. You can message me!

Jan 30
3 likes

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