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I Need 2 Know

ive been dealing with these thoughts 4 a long long time n im sick of not knowing n i need 2 talk 2 some1 about this, IM NOT CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!! i know that but im having trouble dealing with all this rite now. ok i guess i gotta tell my story, this may take a bit cause im not  a good typist...lol, When i was around 10 or 11 i visited  realitives in Missouri  n i can remember waking up in the middle of a cow pasture behind my realitives house, i didnt think much about it @ the time but it eventually came back 2 haunt me. I wound up being extremely sick the next day n couldnt go on any trips 4 the rest of the vacation. Time went by n i had no problems but about maybe 6 mounths 2 a year i started having weird dreams, the 1 that stands out the most was  i remember waking up in the middle of the night n going nto my parents room n climbing into bed with them n while sleeping being woke up from a voice in my head telling me 2 stay calm n nobody will b hurt. i can vividly remember saying whats going 2 happen 2 me n the voice said if i tried 2 do anything my parents would die, i freaked out n i can remember being inbetween my parents on the bed but something wasnt rite so i started banging my fists on the mattress 2 wake them up but the mattress was hard like a steel table n once again i heard a voice in my head saying stay calm n no one will b hurt. then i can remember seeing my house from a great distance above then nothing. The next time i started feeling strange stuff was years later, i never had any intrest in sci-fi shows or movies but all of a sudden i was almost obsessed with alien stuff weather it was shows or movies all the way 2 buying alien shirts,little alien figureines etc, i had friends buying me alien stuff 4 years. Ive read that that is 1 of the sings that u may have had some kind of n encounter. For a long time ive had a strange feeling of being not able 2 move my body while being awake, i could actually feel this sensation n i had no idea what or where it was from until i saw the movie "Fire in the sky" n when Travis was on the exam table there was a cloth like substance placed over him n a mist that came down n seemed 2 render him imoble n thats exactaly the feeling i feel 2 this day. I can sit here n if i think about it hard enough i can feel it to this day. Another thing is i have a friend that lives in Arizona n i have a vivid memory of us leaving my parents house n when walking 2 his car i can remember looking up n seeing a large almost building looking thing in the sky just above us n when i went 2 say something 2 him everything was gone n it was later on in the night. Since then ive noticed a change in my abiliy in everything i do weather it b sports, work, music..etc, i was never that good @ stuff as a kid but now i feel nknow that i will b good @ anything i try or do, i was never like this growing up. I fixsate myself on the sky all the time n i dont know why, i have strange feelings all the time n im afraid that if i talk about this stuff ill b rididculed n made fun of, lose my job etc. 2day is Feb 2 2013, im 42 years old n it took me this long 2 say something cause i literally lost it last night  in front of my girlfriend n scared the *&^* out of her. I now this may sound weird but i needed 2 talk about it, everything i said is true n i want n need help. IM NOT CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!
imnotcrazy1070 imnotcrazy1070 41-45 4 Responses Feb 2, 2013

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That took alot from me so a response would b greatly appreciated

just what i figured, no1 can help me herer either

hello?

please some1 help me