My Life..

Hi! My name is Alex.. and all I want right now it's someone to talk to me.. someone that gives a **** about me..I just want someone to tell me that it's all gonna be ok.. I'm 15.. my dad passed away when I was 3, my father was the only one that wanted me to live.. I was born just because my father wanted a son.. my mother never wanted me, or loved me.. . I was born almost dead.. but some doctors saved me unfortunately.. My mother always told me that she hated me because I reminded her of my dad.. I always hated me for that.. My mom married again when I was five, my step dad is an abusive alcoholic man.. I get beaten EVERY SINGLE NIGHT since I was 5. My whole body it's covered in scars. My step father used to lock me in the basement for days.. and he is still doing that.. . I am and was and will be abuse in every single way possible. He burnt me, cut me, drowned me, make me suffer in every way possible. I used to beg for my life every night.. But now I don't care about my life anymore, I just want it to be over, I just wanna die.. I tried to take my life numerous times but.. I am not capable of anything.. I have no idea how love fells like. Nobody loves me.. I was loved by my dad..I think.. but this was 12 years ago and I don't really remember much.. I never really trusted anyone and nobody knows about my life.. my "family".. but now I'm just DONE, I can't take this by my own anymore.. Ohh.. I trusted someone once.. my school counselor.. but my trust in him just disappeard when he tried to **** me.. I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS !!! Why a man would want to **** a boy?? I don't ******* understand, it's sooo painful.........I don't want anyone to go through this.. it's so ******* painful.. and so disgusting.. I will end my story here because I don't think that someone will read this anyway..
AlexAlden AlexAlden
18-21, M
4 Responses Feb 2, 2013

Hi! I read your story.. Message me if you want to talk, I'll listen and try my best to give you advice!

hi :),
whatever you have faced has to end now, you must fight now you must save yourself for yourself and your father who is no more, if he is watching you from up there in heaven he will cry everyday every moment you suffer. To stop his and your sadness and suffering you must fight run away from these people, complain to the police or child services and just keep fighting like a warrior, unleash the warrior within you and never step down never,
Face whatever comes your way and do not back down it is just a matter of time when your enemies will fall .

Thank you so much for the advice! But I'm not strong enough.. I don't want to fight.. I just want al this to be over..

well if you were strong enough to bear all this and still retain your sanity then you are definitely strong enough to fight.

Yeahh. but I think I don't want to fight.. I think fighting it's worthless for me.. Thank you sooo much anyways!

you are always welcome.

1 More Response

I am so sorry that you have to go through this.. Everyone deserves to be loved by someone and treated respectfully.. Always here if you want to inbox me and talk xx hugs

I tried to inbox you.. but.. you blocked me.... Thank you anyways..

Hey sorry, tried adding you as a friend but your page is blocked.. Best of luck for the future and I hope that you see the light in life xx

I have just read your story and if you still need someone to talk to you can message me. I am not on here everyday but I will get back to you as soon as I can : )