This Really Hits Me

I read something about 'I don't get help because I'm the helper' -- I’m sure I’m not the only person who can actually relate to this. You're the friend who helps everyone, gives them advice when they need it, tells them they’re perfect when they feel ugly, and help them with their relationships even though you’ve never been in one yourself. But then the time comes around for you to be sad, for you to need help, and they’re not there to give it. Sure, sometimes you may not tell people you need help when you need it, but when you do tell everyone just ignores the fact and continues on with their lives like you don’t matter. And then the next day they come to you for more help.. I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t even care if I get their help or not. I wouldn’t even know what to do if they did offer help, I’ve never been on the other side of the relationship and I would feel out of place if I was. I’ve become better at dealing with my feelings and problems myself rather than telling anyone or even anything.. At some point, you don’t even want help anymore, even if you need it, because you’re so far gone into your role that you can’t see yourself getting help. You get to a point where you refuse other people’s help because you don’t want to burden them, because you’re the person that’s supposed to be burdened by others. At some point, you become afraid of getting help..
herotherself herotherself
22-25, F
10 Responses Nov 2, 2013

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It's like other people don't expect you to have any "problems" at all, then you keep helping them and then one day, they'll just brand you as "invincible". Once that happens, there's no going back and it sucks. I know how you feel. :(

I'm exactly like this, and I met two other people who are like that, too! I'm learning to change, though. It's really hard and slow, but I've gotten better at talking about my problems and trusting people. You can PM me if you want (goes for anybody).

I am familiar with that feeling but lately I am taking baby steps and accepting the fact I need help at times too. I am here if you need to talk!

This is me ;/

This is exactly how it is for me. You give and you give, yet you get no help in return.

The fact that you still have the ability to support others means your still intact emotionally. Your not broke sunshine just fractured. Fractured heals a whole lot quicker! For those in this role we tend to shield others from our own issues because we've seen how they have handled their issues and know they are ill equipped to offer anything above a sounding board for us. That's all right that's our role to play. Pay out the money to see a pro gain some awesome insight on you and go forth and make Merry.

This is me
Thank you for making me know myself better, i am already afraid of getting help so i guess i will continue supporting others and helping them..:)

I know this feeling, very well..

The fact that you have admitted that you now need help is a great start. There is a bit of pride in us that does not want to admit that we need help.
Afterall, as you have pointed out, you were the one that help the rest. It is something like, "physician heal thyself".
I hope you find the right help that you need.
Needless to say.. this is the social media. Tread carefully.