Feeling Bad

I just feel so lonely and unlovable right now. A few days ago, I found out the guy I like likes one of my friends. Then today, my roommate told me that I'm a really mean, cold person, and people pick up on this, which is why no one likes me. Last night I cut myself for the first time in 2 years. I made about 30 cuts. I swore to myself it was just a one-time thing. I wasn't going to relapse into the life of cutting I spent 4 years drifting in and out of. Then I did it again tonight. What's wrong with me? Why must I be so mean? Why do I feel like no one can love me? And why can't I love myself? I just want someone to talk to.

ness89 ness89
22-25, F
9 Responses Mar 4, 2009

you know what i know people who are like your roommate.<br />
<br />
everyone's comment here seems to positive that i don't want to ruin the moment.<br />
<br />
BUT if a person's hurting you, spreading rumors behind you back - then its time ditch them, and remove them from your life. -That is if they would never change

If you want to talk I will listen. Here on EP as you can see there are alot of people that will help if they can. Please stop hurting yourself. Give all of us a chance to help.

Thanks, Donealotofmistakes. You're completely right, you all are. I know I am stronger than this, there are just those moments where I feel hopeless, like it might not be worth it. But I feel really hopeful today, and I'm ready to take things one day at a time.

nothings wrong with u. be nice to ur roommate. maybe take them out to dinner and pay for the food. talk about wat ur doing wrong and wat u can do to change it. also talk to friends and tell them ur sory if u ever hurt them. and if neccessary ask them if they want to retry the relationship. <br />
wen ur nice to others, then they see u as a nice person so then u see urself as a nice person. :D<br />
<br />
u know wat i do wen im upset or worried about something.i run like crazy. i get ride of all my bad feelings by just runnning them out. find a park near u with lots of green and run with no ipod. while ur running, think about ur problems and how to solve them. wen ur finished, take a freezing shower! its rely cold but also wakes u up!<br />
i hope this message was useful to u! we shud talk sometime if u want. and the blade is a jerk. dont give in! ur stronger than that! look at wat uve already accomplished! u have published ur story to 2 million people! not everyone can do that. and ur also being honest about urself and to others wich is the first step to change<br />
psps. i believe in u!

My dear, cutting is not the answer to your problems. You need to love yourself, and not yearn for other people love. You cannot earn their love until you look within you for reasons that may have caused your friend to act towards you in a repulsive way. Firstly, I would recommend that you ask your friends for feedback on how they see you. You need to be real and expect them to say anything. Those who truly love you will give you honest feedback. Take what they have to say, and alone analyze them, and decide to make some changes. This will not happen overnight, but a least you will be more aware of your shortcomings in social interactions.<br />
Sometimes, people are afraid of facing up to their pasts, and live in resentment. Confront your past, learn from it, and make the conscious decision of bettering yourself within and without.

add me to your circle if you want to talk.

I agree, cutting isn't the answer. I understand it is a lot easier said than done. I've done it myself. It's been 3 years since I've done it. I've gone through a lot of therapy and a lot of meds, but it will get easier. If you ever want to chat, hit me up.

Put the blade down.<br />
I am here if you need to trade pm's<br />
I am not always on but will talk to you in anyway possible.<br />
You have past issues that make you who you are sometimes we need help coping and getting through life.<br />
<br />
The only way to ensure love is to love and to treat those around us with consideration. This means at times we hold our tongues to keep from hurting the feelings of others.<br />
If someone thinks you are mean it may be because you are trying to release past feelings but in the wrong way

I agree with realgenius. Please don't hurt yourself, there are plenty of people on EP who will be supportive. Sometimes roommates can be mean and cruel and sometimes life is very hard, but this really is a safe place, message me if you want to talk. Peace and love.