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Hi, I just felt compelled to write to you... It seems that you are very much so still in pain from the loss of your beloved son.

It is also very obvious that your son has felt the love you have for him and has chosen to remain with you. It seems you still feel his presence and you know that he is there. But am I wrong in assuming that you are not sure of how others will percieve your son still being there with you?

I think the important thing is that you still have your son. he is not in life form, but still with you. and you know this. - Even though he died at birth, he was born and is a son of yours! feel free to talk to anyone you choose about your son, but just remember that people are ignorant towards life and death. When someone passes over we expect a certain time frame for grieving and then as humans we expect it to be over and barely mentioned. Why? because those close to you know that the death was associated with grief and mental anquish, they do not wish to see you in that state of mind, and nor do they want to join you in that grief each time they are in your presence. You see it lowers the mood, and they always leave feeling bad. People will shy away from these feelings so they may come across to you as being harsh, or not wanting to hear about your son, but it is the grief and emotional feelings that they do not want to deal with.

This is why you may have to touch lightly on this subject with friends and family and co-workers, and strangers. I believe that it is ok to tell them Hey, I have a son whom crossed over but everyday, I still feel his presence. Here is a picture of my son at birth and I still love him very much. They may ask a few questions about the situation, and leave it alone after that. I wouldn't continue this conversation each time they saw you.

Anyway, - I hope this helps you in some kind of way- good luck!

I would love to met your son's spirit as I have friends who have passed but come to me in spirit. So I understand where you are coming from. I'm sure he's a remarkable person as you are and he is your son...hugs

For what it's worth, you'll never forget. It's a part of your life now, there's no way to forget it. It will always effect you, it's already changed you, and you'll never be without the memories. No matter what you do, you can't change that. it's always going to be a permanent part of your life story. So don't worry about forgetting him. Worry about what you're going to do in his memory.

I agree with all of you. I know from my own experience that it is not easy to talk about it .. or to be more precise, it's not easy to find a person who wants to listen or encourage you to talk about it. People who don't have the same kind of experience hardly understand what you are going through, and honestly speaking, they can't be blamed ... I so know how it feels when you no longer want to be in pain and a part of you would rather move on with life, but the other part is afraid that you may somehow forget about what happened and due to that lessen the importance of the person you lost. These days I tend to believe in something that was already said by Anardun and Chickadeedee - that you can't really forget, the experience is something you'll carry in your heart for the rest of your life. At the same time I think it's probably good for you if you no longer think as much about it and feel more peaceful when you do think about it .. And you definitely did introduce your son - I think we all can see him now through a loving father's eyes. It's such a pity that he wasn't meant to stay and you couldn't do all the things fathers do with their children, but I'm also really sure that he must have felt your love .. and wherever he may be now, he probably knows what you have been going through and how you're still feeling about him.
My warmest wishes to you ..

I cannot fathom the depth of anguish and grief you must have felt at the loss of your son. However, unlike those commenters who envision your child hovering out there like some homeless waif, caught in an abyss between death and life, with nothing more joyful to do than watch his father mourn his passing, I know that he is with the Source of all Joy and the Source of all life: the Lord Jesus Christ. He is free of suffering, especially the earthly suffering we all endure because of our own hostility towards things godly. He is free of disease; free of sorrow; free of any and all responsibilities for his own eternal destiny. Your son is in perfect peace and is already enjoying the glorified, resurrected body you and I will have to die in Christ to obtain. What's more: he is asking that same Christ to be sure that He does everything in His power to bring you and the child's mother to heaven as soon as possible so that the three of you can be reunited. Your child is not an angel for he was created to be higher than the angels, just as all of mankind is, and as such, he enjoys the heavenly privileges reserved only for all of God's resurrected children. By the way, God knows how you feel more than anyone else on this entire planet, for He, too, lost a Son through an agonizing death on a humiliating Cross, that what I've just told you might be made Truth for all who will accept it, believe it, and live by it. Rather than mourn the loss of your little one who was taken from you too soon for human comfort, I pray that you will learn how to celebrate the life that is now his and know that until you see him again, he is safe in the Presence of Him who loves him more than even you and his mother ever could have. That little guy will become the salvation of both of you, for "suffer the little children to come unto Me," is still the heart of Him who called your child home in the first place and Jesus will not refuse the tugging on His hem your son will do until he sees his mommy and daddy again. Be comforted that God knew this and had it in mind all along... For the sake of your son, don't keep looking backwards at what you cannot reclaim, but look forward to what you can achieve: a heavenly reunion with a son who never had even one unhappy day... If you have found some freedom in these words, it is your sign you have indeed finally heard the Truth - which always sets men free. God bless you.