Advice Please!

Ok.  I've been in this weird mood for the past week, and the feelings are all related to my boyfriend and how he has been treating me lately.  We are both gamers, and I feel like it has not made us anti-social, but maybe anti-social with each other.  I feel like I know when to stop playing and do things that I need to do, but I feel like he doesn't.  And the worst thing about it is when I'll ask him a question or try to talk to him, and it's as if he tunes me out or ignores me.  He'll tell me he's not ignoring me, but what else can explain the fact that you aren't answering me!  He also says he doesn't do it on purpose because of his ADHD, which we talked about last night because I was crying about everything.  

I wish I was explaining this better.  Anyways, to add to this, he's been telling me he feels disconnected from me lately and I have know idea what that means, and he won't explain it any further because he says he doesn't know how to explain it any more.  So I've been trying to do nice things for him all week.  I've been cleaning his house and buying him little gifts to show him I care.  I've been trying to talk to him more, but when I try talking to him, he ignores me.  Of course that is going to make me upset.  And now it's not that he feels disconnected, he just feels weird about me.

I have no idea what I should do.  I'm at the point where I just want some space myself, but I hate thinking that he feels weird about me.  And he always brings up the fact that I am a different person everyday.  I have PMDD, and it's really hard to deal with because it's a problem I can't grab complete control over.  It hurts my feelings to know he feels this way, especially when I feel like I have done nothing wrong, and I have been trying so hard to make him happy.

I don't know what to do anymore, and I'm sure this story is confusing, so if you have any questions please ask.

I just really need some honest advice because I'm tired of feeling like there is nothing I can do in this situation.

paigetamu paigetamu
18-21, F
5 Responses Feb 7, 2010

So I've had a night to think abt it and I have to say I probably really don't understand what you're going through. Not really. From what you've wrote it sounds similar to what I've gone through, but like all stories we share we leave out a million details, so we try to understand each other from our own life experiences, but we really don't totally understand. We haven't totally walked in your shoes. I want to understand I really do and I write my blog hoping people will understand me. I am really working on my writing ability so when others read my stories they will hopefully understand more, be able to walk in my shoes, but I know I'm not there yet.<br />
Feel free to message me or post on my blog and ask questions and don't be afraid to be direct. I'm no mind reader so I'll do my best to get it, but no promises. <br />
I see you're a gamer. That's sounds like great fun. I know I'll get sucked in and not get anything done so I avoid them like the plague. <br />
got to go.

Well I'm not planning to get married till I'm out of college anyways. I know what you mean. I want to be happy with myself whether or not he is in my life.

I totally get it. I'm married to that guy. Here's my story: http://wifetellsall.blogspot.com/2009/08/sex-ends-when-marriage-begins-time.html<br />
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In the beginning like most relationships it's great and you get all the attention in the world because it's all new and different. I'm sorry, but my only advice is don't get married till you get your PMDD under control and love you and your life. And don't marry him or any other guy thinking things will work it's self out over time. I know that is not what you were hoping for. Read my blog for more detailed thoughts on this and how I'm dealing with it.<br />
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My husband has ADD and finally is finally getting some help. Here are a few of my thoughts on this: http://wifetellsall.blogspot.com/search/label/ADD<br />
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My main page of my blog. Look on the left side to read by subject: http://wifetellsall.blogspot.com

Thank you, that is great advice. And I actually will do that, or at least try my best.

I say try not to dwell on it. Back off for a little while, and then plan something like a night out. Cook dinner at your place...something that pulls you both away from gaming and into each other. Try to reconnect and have fun, and remember why you got together in the first place. Just let the problems go for a minute.