I Just Need To Get This Off My Chest...like A Confession.

Now, I love my kids very much. But just lately I've been thinking that they would be so much better off without me. I'm absolutely useless as a mother. I know alot of people have these feeling when they are a parent. But I actually am.  I forget everything they need for school, I'm rubbish at getting them to do homework or to behave or even to get them to doctors or dental appointments on time or at all in some cases.

My oldest doesn't go to school now as he was bullied because he's special needs, so I pulled him out of school. I then was hoping to get him into secondary school in Sept this year, but I missed the Admissions period and now I don't know whether he will be going or not now. Or rather what school will admit him. I just didn't know there was a time limit because of him not being at school, and I've never sent a child to Secondary school before. So, I have half sorted that out now.

But then I went and did the EXACT same thing with my youngest child. I missed the Admissions period and now it's very unlikely that he will get a placement at the school that his brother goes to (my middle son).  So this means that when my youngest does get offered a place at a school in my area, I will also have to move my middle sons to that school as well. As I will be unable 'to do' two school runs at the same time. So because of me I have to subject my middle son through the upheaval of moving to another school.

I'm just so ******* useless. I just don't seem to get anything right with my kids. My house is always a mess. I clean up and within 5 mins it's a state. We are constantly decorating cos the kids wreck everything.



I hardly have any friends. We don't do much as a family. There are constant argments in my home. It's not a very happy home. My other half works hard and runs his own business. But he doesn't hardly interact with the boys or support me in raising them at all. Except with money and shouting at them. He's quite a loving person towards me. And he always works hard to make sure they have everything the phychicallypy need.

I just don't think I can do this on my own anymore. I'm really mucking everything up to be honest. I have no family I can turn to for support either.  I just actually feel like I need a rest. Like I just need to snap out of it and just deal with everything. But I just can't.  They aren't bad kids. They are friendly, loving and do not get into trouble outside the house or school and can be trusted.  But I just think, that having me as a mum , their future  don't look too bright. If they had better parents they could actually achieve something in life. We moved to agood area when they were younger so that they would stand a better chance in life. But since then it seems that I've just mucked everything up.

 

Well I've got that off my chest. I just hope that I can sort everything out. Well, I know I will, I have to. But I hope I can sort it out as soon as possible. For their sakes.

EDIT:

Thanks for all your comments. I know I portrayed a bit of a bad picture, but it's probably not as I have 'gushed out' above. I am actually quite an unbeat person usually and can cope ok. I think , to be honest that it's that I'm trying to juggle too many balls at the moment. As I;m studying for an English Degree, taking evening college classes for computing and learning to drive. I think you are right, I'm overwealmed And I don't ever get a break, it's relentless. But I sat down and had a good think about everything. And everything that I am doing or have done or needs to be done. Is achievable. And as for the studying part, well I could give up, but I think it's important not just for my overall personal development, to carry on but to set a good example to the boys that you can achieve what you set out to do even if it's bloody hard work!

I talked to my husband about everything. We are going to try and sort everything out together .

As for the calender, I do have one and do use it. BUt I kept writing bloody important dates down wrong! That really mucked me up. And as for my little one starting school in Sept, The reason that I didn't realise is that he is only 3. And starts school in September. Which means he will only just be 4 when he starts. And I seriously don't think that he is ready for it. In fact I think that will be far too young for him to start. Thats why it didn't click in my brain. He will literatally be the youngest kid in the school. He's only 3ft odd!!

Strangegal1 Strangegal1
26-30
1 Response Feb 12, 2010

If you fail, try, try, again!<br />
I dont know how old your kids are but you should..<br />
1. give your kids incentives when they help you clean or clean up after themselves. this can be for any ages. You can give them something good for keeping their room clean or keeping the livingroom and dining room clean. This will also make them feel good about themselves.<br />
<br />
2.you should always have family meetings and talk about whats going on in the household the good, bad, and ugly. all your kids should be giving a chore to do to help you out.<br />
<br />
3.you should write down on a large calender all your appointments and special events that you have to attend so you don't forget. make sure you look at it everyday, and postpone appts. you cant make.<br />
<br />
4. try to call the school and explain that you missed the deadline and you have a special needs child and see what the principal say to you. it's worth a try!<br />
<br />
5. have a family day where (if you cant play games with them) make them play fun games with each other. age appropriate games like connect 4, scrabble etc.<br />
<br />
the other thing is you have to work on your kids respecting each other and respecting you. you have to be stern, there should be no arguing in your household.