Can Anyone Help With Child Physcology

Hi, i am feeling desperate as i right this and i suppose i am looking for anyone who had had the same or know of anyone who has had the same experiences. This is not about me, but my daughter. I suppose she has always been a difficult child, she was always hyper when she was young and like most parents you think she may grow out of this behaviour, she has always been what we call a drama queen and has always been able to make up stories, but i suppose alarm bells should have started to ring when she told a few girls that live near us that i was mean to her ( like use physical violence towards her) I overheard her telling them and as a loving mum who has NEVER hurt in this way i was deeply upset and shocked. I immediately told my partner and mum and we all spoke with her together, she told us she didn't realise what it really meant, so like you do, you believe this and as always put this down to an over active imagination and watching too many soaps on TV, although i knew this was extreme lying for an 8 year old. anyway she has had a tough time at school with bullying to the extremes that she stopped eating and started to self harm, the school supported her and with there help the bullying stopped. I found out off one of the bully's parents that she had told her child story's about me too and her mum had dismissed it as she knew me. It seems that her making story's up has increased the bullying due to the other children noticing her strange behaviour. Since all this has come out, she has said more things that i don't know whether to believe her or not. She is only ten and i don't know what to do, she seems to be trying to seek more and more attention telling the school one story and me and her dad another, she didn't realise me and the school have kept in touch. i have taken her to a doctor and told him about what she has been saying and doing and i am waiting for a referal to a mental health specialist. The problem is i don't know what to do with her now and i think i would like to know what i am dealing with before then. She is very aware of her sexuality too and seems to flirt with boys much older then herself...i am desperate for any advice...i don't think any of this behaviour is normal please help!

jane1515 jane1515
26-30, F
3 Responses Feb 12, 2010

You are heading down the right direction with a therapist. But remember, if you are not comfortable with the therapists' diagnosis or approach to therapy, make sure you find a second opinion. My son was very much as you have described your daughter. The first therapist we took him to, said that he thought my son was schizophrenic and wanted him put on heavy medication to "see" if that would help. <br />
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We didn't feel comfortable with it, but tried the meds and it turned our son into someone we couldn't recognize, his personality changed for the worse. So we decided to take him off the meds and find another psychologist. She ordered neuroscience testing and found that he had some simple chemical imbalances and some negative reaction to certain foods - in other words he was hyper-sensitive to MSG and other food additives. Once these were removed from his diet and then other foods high in certain amino acids were added - all negative behavior stopped.<br />
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Hang in there and don't give up on your daughter. She is going through a difficult time, but you seem to really care about getting her help and that is something many children do not have. With a lot of love and understanding I am sure she will turn around.

I agree with Rocklogson, she appears to be looking for attention. But really only a child therapist could make that call. Find someone with a good reputation and take her. Not only take her but keep it up no matter how long it takes. Therapy works but it takes a long time. She gets one chance at a happy life, so do whatever you can to see that she has that opportunity.

So sorry to hear of you problem, I'm glad you're seeking professional help. I'm far from being an expert, but can share an experience. My niece was the same way, telling stories of her mom locking her in closets & her dad throwing her down steps, etc. None of her stories were even a tiny bit true, but she got reactions & sympathy from her peers. My sis & her husband sought out a mental health specialist. Two years later, all is well. It was discovered that she had low self esteem & needed more attention & recognition than her siblings. She is "the middle child" and felt "lost" in the family. They didn't mention and chastise her for her stories anymore & everything she did of any value at all was recognized & she was praised more often. For her it worked. I'm not saying she & your daughter have anything in common other than behaviour, but I'm happy to say that the outcome of seeking the specialists help was very good. Good luck, I think you are on the right track.