Everything Has Happened. Please Someone Help Me

everything..and im just 19, when i lived with my parents, it was really bad, my dad was an alcoholic and he used to hit me, then i left home when i was 17-18 and i left with my boyfriend, we moved together and i became pregnant, he was perfect, the complete opposite of my father...but then i realized..he did drugs, so did all of his friends, i tried thc to make him happy before i was pregnant...but that didnt work out, then i gave birth to my beautiful child, we fought like 3-4 times a week, and on the first 3 month of my baby, we were separated, we got back together and moved to an apartment, but we've been fighting everyday, my baby is now 8month  old, he's still doing drugs, and i've done thc again which is really stupid, then he saw this valentine's day letter and said that he didnt care about it and we got into a fight, i was crying(he always humiliates me when i cry) and then he started punching me and threw me on the floor and started kicking me saying: GET UP, GET THE **** UP"

i was so scared...everything is so awful.. i have no one, im gonna get fired from work because i've been really depressed and therefore my work quality has gone really low, i have a son, im just 19, i have an abusive drug addict boyfriend, i havent got a family, i havent got anyone.. i am so alone... i just want to die but i cant because of my baby who i love...

veryalone veryalone
22-25, F
11 Responses Feb 13, 2010

but why do i have to live with those ppl? why always the abusive ones? i dont drink(only on my bday and on new years) i dont do drugs, nothing. i dont get it!

thank you...

I don't have any help for your current situation, but when you are in a more stable situation, you might want to find about about Adult Children of Alcoholics. People like yourself, tend to react differently to relationships. It may also help you with learning to live with alcohol and drug users.

thank you...

I am so sorry you have to go through this . I hope that you pull through and we'll keep a special place for you in our hearts

i don't think there's a womens shelter in my country (i live in the caribbean) and co-workers? well, guess what, he's our boss and everybody loves him and everybody thinks im so lucky to have him, they all think he's too good for me, no one will believe me. no one knows him.

Definitely talk to someone at work right away and let them know what's going on. Many employers will give employees some extra leeway if they realize they're going through some kind of hell, which you certainly are.<br />
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A women's shelter is a great option. Other places that can provide help are churches, temples, etc. Even if you're not affiliated with any, most are more than happy to help anyone who needs help. If you aren't religious, try a Methodist Church or Unitarian Universalist Church, as they have members with diverse beliefs and non-beliefs and won't push you. It is their mission to help others, and you may find more a supportive community that helps you get back on your feet. You may find reliable and positive friends. Good friends are so important, and sometimes that's as simple as finding the right group.<br />
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If you're feeling suicidal and just desperately need someone to talk to in an instant, try a crisis hotline. They've helped me a lot during those darkest moments. I often call one in North Dakota and pretend I'm from Fargo, because then I feel safer. The number is 701-235-7335, just in case.<br />
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You can get through this. You deserve so much better than all of this. None of these horrible, terrible things should have been done to you. There are much better people out there who will treat you better, and you will find them.<br />
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Let us know if we can help further, okay?

Look in the phone book or go to your HR Rep. at work and find a womens shelter right away. They can help you and your baby, get you out of that situation and get you back on your feet. <br />
I wish you luck.

i can't move with her... she's the girlfriend of one of my best male friends and they live together... i dont have anyone... no money because im about to lose my job... i dunno what to do.. my son... my beautiful boy, what am i going to do?? he's the only reason why i'm alive right now

That's a pretty heavy situation for someone who's only 19. It really sucks to be afraid of the one you thought you could trust, it's a shame he turned out to be just a wolf in sheep's clothing.<br />
My only advice is to leave him and maybe stay with your girlfriend, and if he threatens you, call the police right away and mention there's a child involved.<br />
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It ****** me off so much when a man feels the need to abuse a woman, you can't stay with someone so negative as that, it's not right. I hope you get through this, I wish there was something more I could do. Just hang in there and be strong, you've been pretty strong so far so don't give up.

ugh i dele ted a comment but i just wanted to edit it, a girlfriend of mine(who's incredibly beautiful and great) kissed me and i kissed back and it was so perfect... that was a couple of weeks ago but i mean obviously nothing can happen..she's the girlfriend of one of my best male friends..i met her through him...