Im Always Alone

I have no one to talk to about anything anymore. My wife cheated on me with the only 2 friends I had. I cant talk to family about anything. Everyone else I know is taking my wife's side because they are related to her. I cant find a job. I feel like I need a new woman in my life but have no idea how to do that..  haven't been "available" in over 6 years so I don't really know where to go or what I would want or what to say. I feel like I've wasted a big part of my life. I have no car or money or anyone to depend on until I find another job. Except my wife and I don't want to depend on her. I feel like I'm alone in all of this. I know other people have it worse but I just want to be happy like I use to. My wife acts like this is all my fault. Like I wanted her to cheat on me. And with my best friend? I don't know what to do anymore. And I'm starting to not care anymore. I feel like if I was dead everything would be better but I don't want to die. At least I didn't use to. How can I hate myself this much?  Will I ever feel the same again? Is it possible to work things out with my wife? I don't even know if I should. I just need someone to talk to who kind of gets me and wont judge. I had that but she took it away from me. Now every time I see them I think about what they did. I feel insane.

friskydingo87 friskydingo87
22-25, M
Feb 14, 2010