I Trusted My Teacher But He Ended Up Having Sex With Me I Don't Know What To Do.

I am in 11th grade, and about a month ago I lost my virginity to my 36-year-old teacher. He was my favorite teacher for many years, and I always trusted him, but one night when I stayed after class we ended up having sex twice. It wasn't rape, because I didn't try to make him stop, and he had already been making advances for some time by this point. It started as an abusive relationship, but recently it has become consensual because I am too afraid to say no to him. I have decided to give myself to him rather than have him hurt and threaten me. We now have sex almost daily - before school,after school, during my spare period, or any combination of all three.  I feel like a coward for going back to him every day, but if I told my parents I think that they would blame me for it (they both grew up in very traditional families) and if I told the police then wouldn't they just say it is consensual and leave it at that? I am of legal age so from where I stand there's nothing on this man that can be used against him. Should I just deal with it until graduation? I feel like a terrible person, and I don't know how to change what is happening. I know that this is wrong but I am afraid of what he will do to me if I reveal our relationship.

glassbox glassbox
18-21, F
2 Responses Feb 15, 2010

I was going to say exactly what raven said. <br />
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Tell someone, anyone! Someone that will keep this between yourself, the teacher and him/herself. <br />
Someone that will defend you and support you in ending this cycle. Someone that will keep you from going back and the teacher from having any manipulate control over you. That's the first step I would take. <br />
The second would be to end it. Which you need to do RIGHT AWAY. You do not by any means have to go through this nor is it your fault it has gone on for so long. <br />
The third step would be to then figure out what you would like to do next. Don't rush yourself into doing anything because you need to be prepared (mentally, emotionally etc) to deal with the effect your decisions will have. <br />
Then when you are ready, take the next step. Whether that be legal actions etc or not. <br />
I would suggest you do because he is your teacher and it is not fair, nor right, for you to have to go to his class. Ever! <br />
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I know what you are feeling though, I have experienced similar. When i was younger, although he wasn't my teacher he was a family friend, i went through the same thing. I would go back etc and i thought for the longest time, i just should. It's a very odd, confusing emotion that drives you back and forth. But with time i realized that it was not what i wanted, and it hurt me and i was being manipulated. It was abuse or molestation or whatever it is you want to call it. And i stopped it. I forgave myself and let my self be free from it. <br />
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Another similar experience is this friend i had that was very manipulative, emotionally wise. He played on my kindness and trust and in turn made me feel terrible for ending the friendship and/or the idea of. But i did, because i realized i didn't deserve nor want that and i owed it to myself and my happiness to stop allowing his control. But with this one , the act of ending the friendship abruptly resulted in him turning into a threatening stalker. I didn't think that one through, i just acted out of anger and desperation to end it. I guess my point with that is, END the cycle of this happening , but don't jump right into legal actions etc. You're going to need the right support system to deal with what may happen. There would be a lot of sharing what went on and how you feel etc with lots of strangers which is something you def need to be ready for. <br />
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BUT AGAIN, stop it ! Just say no and stop. Confide in someone and call on that person to help you through the stopping it. <br />
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I wish i was where ever you are , i would be there in a jiff! I'm there in spirit , if that helps. <br />
Whenever you need extra support, remember that we are here in spirit and we are backing you up.

You need to talk with someone you trust, or who you know will stand by you. The principal or guidence counselor should be this sort of person, but you may or may not feel comfortable with that. Usually there are places in any city or county that deal with abuse -- and this is abuse, rape, entrapment, etc. -- Find an advocate: Church, non-profit counseling (Luthern social services, Catholic charities), a school board member (should be listed on your school web site), a grade school teacher you trusted; a neighbor; a fireman if you do not want to go to the police; a police woman who works in this area a county social worker.<br />
I could help you if you lived in my city; there is no need for you or your community to tolerate an abusive teacher like this -- to use his power to make you feel uncomfortable to go about your day with out serviceing his sexual needs is unexcusable. that is not how school works. I have a duty as a teacher to try to keep this sort of parasite out of the school system. <br />
Turn him in the best way you know how and do it before he hurts another person on campus. <br />
You are in my prayers and please know you have done nothing wrong. Saving your own self from harm by giving in is self -preservation it is not consent, it is keeping yourself from harm. Go quickly and get someone to listen to you and get him behind bars before the day is done.