I Need Someone To Talk To!

I am a 41 yr old mother of 6 kids I got a divorce 4 yrs ago from a abusive husband and father,I never had anything i could call my own when i was married to him,now im really possesive over whats mine.I got remarried 2 yrs ago to a man with a son I have problems dealing with how bad this kid is hes only 10 but when his dad calls him he either ignores him or says Dang really loud and he does not get in trouble recently the kid got suspended from school for calling a teacher a fagget he got 10 days for that.I grounded him from the playstation 3 since i bought that,but from the first day he was home his dad has been playing games with him and keeping him intertained he acts like hes afraid of telling the kid no.but when my kids act up he doesnt hesitate to spank them or yell at them and there ages are 4,6 and a 15 yr old thats special.today while i was gone my husband took my mouse off my computer and gave it to his mom with out asking me and replaced it with a different kind cause she wanted the kind i had a optacle one,I was at a soccer pract I called him and he told me what he did I hung up on him and i was so hurt I stayed gone an hr and a 1/2 just riding around.I feel like my life is being controlled again for the second time but in a different way.If my kids wouldnt have been with me I was so deppressed i would have done something stupid.I have no one i can talk to and believe me with me just writing it down like im doing it makes me feel alot better

angeleyes1274 angeleyes1274
41-45, F
3 Responses Feb 16, 2010

you just need to walk in that house and tell him like this this is all mine you got with me i didnt get with you and if ya dont get onto ya kid ill start and tell him you wont car if he likes it or not and if he gets mad tell him to get out , first of all i never beleive in lettin another man that is not your own childrens father spank them or get onto them , now i beleive in gettin onto them like getting them to behave when they r wrong but thems your kids and you have to take up for them , u tell him to never ay another word to your children until he gets on to his own , and the other thing about him givin ya stuff to his mother i would made him get on the phone adn tell her a** to get my stuff back or i was going to go give somethin of his awya or go sell it , same thing , no diff. put ya foot down girll, dont take nothin off no man you done went through it once , i know ya strong enough to go off and put ya foot down, flip out on him , put him in his place let him no you aint puttin up with someone disrespectin ya , you done lived through that and you aint nomore , thats my advice , i go through alot too you have no idea , i need to leave my situation and its hard cause i got 3 kids too and im only 28 and i know how hard it is when ya get in a relationship you get used to livin the same ole way day to day and im scaired to change im scaired to be on my own with my babies but i need the heart to make a stand but youve done accomplished that once dont let it get started again , i flip out on my man on a daily basis , i don;t take no sh it but i do to stay in my home and have security when it comes to walkin awway cause hes good to his babies so wht do i do?

I have already tryed that,we set rules around the house for all the kids,and he always brakes the rules for his son.We also have chores which he thinks his son should still get money even though he dont have to do his chores.I make my children follow the rules for example like eating in the kitchen.just really simple rules like on school nights bed time is 9 pm.he thinks his son should be able to stay up as late as he wants.when his son dont get what he wants in a store he calls his dad jerk really loud.I still make my kids do there chores and follow rules cause when there older they will have jobs and have to follow rules people arnt going to bend over backwords to kiss there butts.And my husband promised me when he won custady of his son which we won last year things would be different cause his son used to tell him when he got mad he wanted to live with his mom.

IMO you need to sit this guy down and explain how all this is NOT working. Write all your grievances down first... as we both now how when we get emotional we tend to forget things. He needs to know that this is not what you signed up for. Ideally you would have discussed and covered all this before you got married... but whatever you do, do not prolong it any longer... tell him that the two of you need to work this out and make ground rules together and you need to stick to them. Things have to be fair where all the children are concerned and you both need to have enough respect for each other to know that you can trust each other with not only your hearts, but your families and your property. If he cannot grasp this concept, then I would not reccommend sticking around to see who else gets mistreated or what else gets given away.