I Have Many Issues And Illnesses That Don't Allow Me To Leave The House..........

I am a 49 year old divorced female. I have everything from being bi-polar (I am manic right now) to depression, panic attacks,PTSD, you name it I have it..the list is a mile long.  I go for very long periods of time where I can not go outside, so my cat and I work on the computer and watch tv or listen to music.  I feel so lonely sometimes.  I lost my mom almost a year ago and she was by best friend, I miss her so much. She is the one person who really understood me.   My step-dad trys but thinks its all in "my head" and just let it go..how I wish I could!   He has never been sick, maybe a cold every couple of years but nothing else.  He is out of town a lot seeing his girlfriend that lives  over 2 hours away.  My so called friends don't call any more since I won't go out and party with them..I do not drink..been sober about 3 years.  No one has time to call me or stop by and see me..maybe that's for the best.  I always wonder...what does the future hold....I would be happier just knowing what will happen tomorrow.

     I have to go see my shrink in person tomorrow, he usually has our talks over the ohone, but my insurance company is insisting this time.  I have been in a panic state since yesterday just thinking about going, I do have some one to drive me and that helps.   Are thier others out there that feel anything like I do??  Any with the same problems??    I don't sleep while in a manic state, so I am on the computer all the time. Thanks for listening!!

dolllover dolllover
46-50, F
2 Responses Feb 27, 2010

Thnak you so much for your thoughts. I know how your friend feels...its very hard to live a lonely life.

I'm sorry you feel so alone..I have a girlfriend who is Bipolar and had the same situation..All the friends she had over the years (that she always helped in their time of need)could not be bothered with her..I don't know why people are so mean and I don't know what else to say..I'm glad your getting help and I wish you the best...