I Like A Guy... But We Are Both Dating Other People.

I really just need some guidance....

I have been dating my bf for almost 2 years now, we've been rocky to say the least. And atm i am the only one with a job. Anyway... I have joined a band recently and am having a blast with it.

The only problem is the drummer. I liked him when i first met him, just as friends of course. We have so much in common, we talk about music for hours, and also talk to each other about personal problems/relationship things. We think exactly the same and I feel such a connection to him. Only problem is he has a gf and they just bought a house together. Now my goal is not to screw up any relationship. And although he doesn't talk to me about her a lot, barely at all, i know he likes being with her and they're happy.

I'm a little less happy in my relationship, but still happy nonetheless. We talk to each other everyday, via facebook chat, text, calls. And he is almost always the one to initiate the conversation. Again, we talk about music, our band stuff, personal things. I feel i can tell him anything. He recently invited me, not his gf to go to a concert. His gf was a lil upset especially since he said i could stay over at his place with them. So I stayed over and everything and it was fine.

Idk, I just feel so strongly for him and it seems he can tell me anything and loves talking to me. Also said he gets a lil nervous around me, and I to him in person. Like middle school all over again lol. Does he just like talking to me? or is there a chance it could be more? I realize we both have relationships just have such a strong pull to him, and somtimes you can't stop fate.


Thanks in advance for any help :)

guitarplayer2008 guitarplayer2008
18-21, F
3 Responses Mar 1, 2010

What ended up happening? Sorry just curious

If your goal is not to screw up any one elses relationship...don't. Its nothing worse than having a love triangle. Most times when one is in a bad relationship it is easy to gravitate towards attention or what ever you are not getting in your current relationship. Being you and the drummer have so much in common I think that is what the connection is all about. Your friend did invite you to an concert but could it have been you have so much in common that he knew you would enjoy the outing more than his girlfriend? You need to find out what you are doing in your current relationship...why do you stay ? you are not really happy. You know what the problem is or what you are not getting from your current relationship. Sometimes alot of stress can be brought on in a relationship due to unemployment and finances. The relationship with your boyfriend can go either way. Have you tried to talk to your boyfriend and come up with a solution? The reality is your friend is in a relationship and is happy they just brought a house. Nothing is cast in stone but they are serious enough about each other to buy a house. A house is not something you buy with just anyone. Think about it. Wouldn't you be upset if your boyfriend asked another girl to stay over? Friend or not...maybe your friends girlfriend sensed how you feel about her boyfriend. Some times a woman can tell things like that. Take it slow with your boyfriend...see where things are heading...ask yourself what you want, what type of man you want in your life now, can you see yourself with your boyfriend in the years to come? You are still young boyfriends come and go, what worked for you 2 years ago may not work for you now. I am going to give you a piece of advice I got from a friend when I hit a rough patch in my relationship. They asked me "Are you willing to risk and leave your boyfriend for a guy that has never given you any indication they want you other than friendship." All the best.

There may be more of an attraction to him because you and your bf are not getting along. There are alot of things going on here so its hard to pinpoint. First, remember that although you and this guy get along, he is in a committment. I would suggest not getting into anything with him until he ends its for good, if that is even in his mind (which doesn't seem it is). Then you will not have to worry about breaking anything up. Second, if you are not in a committed relationship with your bf, you have three choices. You can either continue as is until something happens and you end up breaking up anyway. You can try to work things out with your bf (in a good relationship you should be able to talk to each other, not fight with each other). You can leave and find someone else you can get along with that makes you happy. Life is too short to live it in misery. Either way, it would be my suggestion to never get into another relationship that involves someone else. Good luck and you are in my prayers.