What Life Holds

Anyone who has done something worthwhile in life can be said to have overcome a lot. Just by watching the Olympics we can get a sense of joy, hardship, sorrow, determination from each athlete. Even I, the most average of average people, can have a story to tell.

It might start off sounding like an emotionless list:

-Bullying during elementary and high school left me with no confidence and very little trust

-Parents at home who focused entirely on academic achievement

-No sense of self and absolutely no motivation resulted in poor university performance which lead to a year away from school

-One of the most amazing years of my life! Minus working at KFC I got to meet new friends, witness both a lunar and a solar eclipse, go to Michael Buble, go to the Olympic opening ceremony and watch an Olympic diving competition, played video games, watch tv and movies, read novels and manga, went to a film festival but ended up meeting some of my favorite athletes on top of seeing a few stars, not to mention visit a few places that most people only dream about seeing in China

-Going back to school, staying in school, and actually doing well in school

It is at back at school where this story really begins. At school where I met my best friend, biggest fan, biggest support, and most frustratingly stubborn obsessive whiny person to date. Eric!

Eric is:

-Smart, hardworking, encouraging, funny, and do almost anything for a friend

-Loves working with people with disabilities and thus volunteers at anything and everything that allows him to do so

-Incredibly stubborn in what he believes to be right

-Believes everyone should like each other and just get along, even forcefully changing the subject to prevent arguments

-A big baby who refuses to step out of his comfort zone and thus all friends must adjust accordingly

Eric is important to me because he help me believe in me during one of the most difficult times of my life. But as much as I am grateful help from Eric comes from him viewing me not as a friend. Instead I will always be viewed as someone who "needs help", like a thing that is broken and must be fixed. Pitied. Still we were close because I could always tell what he is feeling and always will to understand even if it did take me awhile sometimes. Frustrating? Very. I mean how free can one be if every little tiff is silenced and every dinner includes someone disliked? Still Eric has and explanation for everything he does. Thus he is never wrong and always misunderstood. Other people can be wrong, have reason, but his is always more reasonable because his are always noble selfless acts of kindness. Yet for the friendship of someone who is truly precious I still choose to accept all that he is, save for one little detail, CHEATING. No, cheating on an exam.

It was the final exam period of the 2009 fall term. The H1N1 scare was all over the place so some school put in place of a system where doctor's notes were no longer needed to get out of exams. Eric who for fear of losing his scholarship decided to lie about being sick to get out of his last exam and ended up with 4 more weeks to study for it. I am sure many other people used the same method and I am sure I am biased because I am in the same class and went to the exam. I know he told me he cheated because he trusted me. How can I, after so much struggling with school help but be angry, disappointed, and sad. How can he "champion" of the helpless, "noblest" of the noble cheat? How can I sit and watch as the mark I have worked so hard for is deflated when the class average increase is due to the fact that all those people had a month more of studying time? How can he expect "all" he has done to "help" me in the past to make up for this one wrong? Life holds the same amount of hardships for everyone it is those who can overcome them that find joy. Why should his life be any easier? I do not have it in me to ruin someone's life, let alone a friend's. Plus I am biased. The events that followed are what left me truly speechless. Before I continue with these events I have a confession to make.

clair0girl clair0girl
26-30, F
8 Responses Mar 4, 2010

There is two fundamental problems here. First the over-riding reasons for all this anger and mistrust has been sown a long time ago when you was both new to each other. He had won you over so easily because you didnt see the mistakes he was making because you didnt want to see he was just a human being. It sounds like you should leave him to his progression tto make a adult out of himself and he will find that if you are not there for him to fool he will then begin to either realise how much you meant to him and how fragile his self image rteally was all the time.<br />
You need to find what you want yourself in life. You have to confront yourself as you grow up and become a strong and well adjusted woman instead of thinking that your just a stooge to be taken for granted. Dont give yourself away, let people decide what you are and they will make a friend out of you and not you making them a hero that you feel you need to look up to. Its tough but if you know what is happening because you are making things happen then you will shine the way for others to follow you. Keep independant from now on and dont let being alone frighten you.

Thank you! I'll be looking forward to a summer of new experiences!

Comfort yourself by telling him you did what was best for him by telling him what he did was wrong. Someday he may call you and thank you. Even if he doesn't it's still true. Integrity is not the surest path to popularity but it's the loving and good thing to do.

Comfort yourself by telling him you did what was best for him by telling him what he did was wrong. Someday he may call you and thank you. Even if he doesn't it's still true. Integrity is not the surest path to popularity but it's the loving and good thing to do.

He's mad at me for telling him it's wrong. He says that I could of cheated too. He says friends are people who knows everything about a person and is still a friend. <br />
I'm trying really hard to let of this but other developments are really hurting me. I have finished telling the rest of this story in "What Life Holds - part 2" or it can also be found on my blog. <br />
I'm sorry about the delay but I have been busy with mid-terms. <br />
THANK YOU ALL for reading and responding!!!

Have you told him how you feel about his cheating? You can love somebody as a friend but not love all he does. I think you just need to tell him how you feel about it and then let go of it. How he handles the truth you speak to him is up to him. He doesn't need someone to condone this; he needs someone to tell him right over wrong. Once you have you don't feel you're somehow complicit if you keep being friends with him. If he tries to pull something in the future like lying on a job application, he'll be in big trouble. Or more academic cheating and he can be in big trouble. But the truest test of character is what we do when nobody's watching. But if you already have spoken clearly to him about this, just let go of it; it's his responsibility.

I've had enough of him! Everyone one of his excuses always made him seem like the selfless one, the one so deserving something more. He will always find a way to justify his actions and then go around apologizing until his apologies are so over done to the point of meaninglessness. Because it was easier than actually making the effort to change his actions for hurting his friends. A friend who for so long accepted him even when we disagreed for all the good he is. A friend he is mad at, even though I continue to keep his secrete from the school, because I called him out on it initially. <br />
Just the other day he want me to lend my text book to some girl (Nancy) he's currently living with because she's too cheap the buy her own and wants to share his text book since they were in the same class. But he doesn't want to lend Nancy his text book since he needs it. So instead of telling Nancy she needs to go get her own text book he wants me to lend my text book to a compete stranger with no guarantee from Nancy that I'll ever get it back just because I'm not current using the text since I took the class last year. He has this ability to make me feel so bad, like I'm the one who wronged him.

If he's so noble,then why'd he cheat? I mean,nobody is perfect,but it sounds hypocritical for him to consider you "needy" or "helpless" by yourself,yet he cheated on the exam? Well,at least YOU ask for help rather than become the cheater.Btw,if he cheated on the test,there's no telling what else he lied about before.I mean,I know I've told lies before,but at least I've grown out of it(unless it's online and to protect my identity from stalkers).Even if I do lie,at least I come clean to all the other ones.I don't like to hurt people.