Not The Same

OK its been a long time i thought i would be able to get over it but it now going on 4 years now. okay let me start from the top. I met this girl lets call her (c) It was the 8th grade she was the first girl to ever tell me no i think i asked for some candy she had. but she still said no! from then on i knew i was in love to make this story shorter we ended up being High School Sweet harts we lost our virginity to each other,we just knew we would be together forever ... My how things change I am not sure when or how but i started to change i mean i still loved her but things just were not the same. I was not The Same guy that i use to be. okay skip forward we ended up moving out together it was great but for some reason i wanted to see if the grass was greener on the other side of the fence if you know what i mean. unfortunelty like most guys i was a dog and did cheat on (c) and yes i was caught but i was caught in the worst way possible. I had a child by another girl, lets call her (o). now the mother of my Children . okay here is the thing  (c) for a while forgave me and we were trying to work things out. while (o) was pregnant i was still trying to patch things up with (c) because i knew she was going to leave me. i mean who wouldn't? so things did not work out with (c) she stopped talking to me move to another apartment. at the time i was so hurt not as much as (c) but i was still hurting. i didn't want to be alone so i moved (c) into my apartment with me. i do love her i really do. to make a long story shorter (o) and i have now been together for five almost six years. and (c) damn there swore before Jesus to never speak to me again, and i can understand why. But someone please tell me how to stop thinking about (C) i wont lie and say its every day but it now been 5 years and i haven't even seen a picture let alone a myspace or facebook profile. please someone how do i stop thinking about (c) its killing me on the inside i dont know who to tell or talk to

N0tsur3 N0tsur3
22-25, M
6 Responses Mar 5, 2010

Ok its not like i spend countless hours thinking about her random moments. i think i just need to tell someone about it. you what scares me is the thought of family please don't get me wrong i love my children to death and would don anything for them. but a far a (o) i mean she i kinda expendable, wow i know thats real messed up to say but for the most part of my life women have been real mess up toward me starting with my mom, she just disappeared said she'd be back in the morning have seen her, the grandma locked me in my room for week at a time i mean the list goes on and on. so when a woman tells me she loves me its kinda hard to believe.

No, because I spend my time with people who really have a problem. You are being selfish. You burned this bridge and you need to move on. You are with someone else now, with more than one child-choice. You have a choice to concentrate on that one that you chose, not think about what was, which is basically cheating on the one who you are suppose to love. Focus on making your relationship better with (o) the one you have children with, you did have more than one by choice. That's how you get your mind off of it. Start by focusing on your family.

"Get into a support group if you need someone to sympathized with you and support you through it."<br />
funny that you say that silentwitness i thought that experience project was a support group.

You said it yourself. His girl. Not yours. Swallow your mistakes and move on with your life. Get into a support group if you need someone to sympathized with you and support you through it.

See thats the thing i completely understand that my Bridge to Terabithia is burned the problem is i cant stop thinking about his girl.

Someone once told me that you will only find true love once and if your lucky enough maybe it will come around again.<br />
Honestly if i was c...i couldnt stand the thought of working things out with you if i knew that i was cheated on and that this other chick got pregnant. If you really loved this girl, how could you stick your **** in someone else?? I know you have gone thru this guilt already and sorry if i sound like a ***** but you have to accept that you burnt that bridge...be greatful that you have beautiful children with someone new and accept that life. Make more out of the relationship u have w O... Life is too short to dwell on what you cant change hun! You need to focus on what is not what could have been ...i hope this helps xoxo Dee