Questions Remain

Im just at a loss, i dont really know what to feel because it cant get any answers on so so many things. I ditched some people in the past and Ill admit i still feel like a **** about it but I couldnt relate to many of them. Additon to that Iv been looking for a job even though its gonna be heartbreaking to leave my current on because I have so many times that it just made me laugh and the people I work with are so cool. I just need more more money, not a ton but enough to get out on my own. My friends always wanna hit up bars but I walk into the damn bars and its like a high school reunion every damn weekend and its just an uneasy feeling because Iv changed so much and i see people in there who look at me different because of this. Like they think I think im better than them. I just dont know how long I can keep it up in there but I dont want to loose my friends. I just want a fresh start, which is one positive thing to look at with a better job I guess, i can HOPEFULLY get enough to move 20 miles in any direction. I use to think it was dumb to move to a school if you had to pay for it yourself but now I FULLY understand why people do it. For a break from the bullshit, a fresh start in a new place, a chance to grow without being looked down upon by people who are stuck like a mouse on a wheel. Many its half depression and the other half of being fed up with everything and im looking for a change...or maybe im crazy. Anyway if anyone else is feeling this or wants to say something feel free I just needed to let some **** out and i hope others do the same.

HowAboutNoScott HowAboutNoScott
22-25, M
5 Responses Mar 6, 2010

I stayed home for college, too, and I can totally relate to this because most of my friends from high school/college have changed *soooooo* much, that I can't relate to them anymore. They're just SO immature. I feel 35 next to them because they act 16-18. Like you, I want to save enough money for my own place, a new car, etc. I don't care much for partying anymore. <br />
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Almost 2 years ago I went away for a semester for grad school, and thought, just like you, that my problems would go away. And they did...until I got new problems at my new apartment. My suite mates and classmates were too much to bear, pretty much everyone seemed to be in my business. Eventually, I came home and rediscovered my old area. I made new friends at my current school and now appreciate my old home more than ever. It's still rough living with my parents, but until I make enough money I don't mind staying here. I think moving put it all in perspective, that's why I wish you the best of luck --- I'm sure things will get better soon :-)

Listen- I hear you. I was absolutly miserable in my home town & destructive b/c of it (like partying every night & crazy)- and I used to think it was just me. <br />
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But NO- I moved away for college, to a new place in the forest- no dorm life b/c I falsified some documents (so no "comraderie")- and have had a wonderful life ever since. I have made lifelong friends, found a career not even using my degree, but money is good... <br />
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I'm saying that sometimes your problems don't follow you- sometimes you just need a new place! I truly believe some people thrive in a city, in a suburb, in a forest, on the coast- you gotta mix it up & try out new stuff if your not feeling where you're living!!! & if you start off new then you can grow- which is hard in a place where everyone "knows"who you are!!!<br />
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Good Luck!

I understand where you're coming from with all of this. Silentwitness is right, though, moving and having change won't necessarily relieve much of the stress you're currently feeling. It might very well create different types of stress. It does sound, however, like you're ready to learn how to finally be on your own and live 'your age', not the age you were 10 years ago. <br />
I wish you luck in finding your next location and job.<br />
I also want to share some sympathy regarding how others have made to feel. I don't believe anyone should ever have to apologize for what they needed to do in order to make their lives more satisfying. That is, as long is those actions are justified, responsible and don't harm anyone else.

Well thanks for ur imput but i should have been clearer i guess. I just graduated college but lived at home and commuted to save money. But by staying around college was cool but now that its done and Im leaving my job that i had during school I just feel like im ready to move on. Its not that i really HATE anyone Im just ready to stop partying all the time, land a job to get my own place but some have taken that as me turning my back on them. By fresh start I ment moving to a school as being in a new location with new people and being able to start a life for yourself without as much guilt. I guess i feel like I had flaws, took steps to correct them and people want me to feel bad about it it seems or that my actions are always questioned.

Well, for one thing you have it wrong. People do not move to school only for a fresh start. Some schools require the first year being lived on campus. The reason is comradery. You build relationships and support you wouldn't otherwise build living off campus. Those who live in dorms have some of the same rules your parents would put on you. Moving won't solve all your problems. It may, however, create new ones. There is nothing wrong with you growing apart from your friends, just find new friends with common interests. People have to do it all the time. If you feel the need to move to do this, then move. But you said yourself you like your job. You may not like the next one. Maybe you could stay there and just get another parttime job. Or maybe you could consider going to college.