Is It Really Of Me?

i am a single son in my family. no brother nor sister that would accompany me since i was little boy. until i grow up becoming a man. anything that i done must be something wrong with it. is it a curse for me? is it a punishment for because i done something wrong? Perhaps, i done something terrible and can make my mom cry. i only have my mom, i dont have any family, my father married with other women. and now, I'm stuck in this sorrow, this pain that torment me, its all about money. i do belive that money can make me smile and happy, yet it is also the cause for my problem. this whole thing is all about money. now, i at local university, trying my best to get a degree so that i would get more salary then other people. but the main problem was money, cash. not just that, my friendship began to ruin, because of me. did i done something bad to him? i suppose that the things that i done to him was not consider as bad things but i dont know why he treated me like this. it was my roomate. and sometimes i hate my self. i hate for what i become. useless for community and country. i try to make people happy but then the price is my own happines. Perhaps God have plan for me, a good plan for me at the future, but all i know is pain and suffering....i havent been sleep for 3 days now.... i've been skipping classes and tutorial. as if i am a submarine that always submerge until its end...

syahpez89 syahpez89
18-21
Mar 11, 2010