Not Sure

first off im not sure if im doing this right and second i know people have way more important problems than me but im really confused... see i lived away at school and because of me changing my major i moved back home well about a month before i moved back home my dad moved out (they have been on and off since i was born and hes always had another **** buddy) anyways so i moved back home and i hate it i miss my independence... i started fighting with my parents a lot and dont agree with the fact that my mom still lets my dad sleep over and now they are just **** buddies... so i leased an apartment with my boyfriend who ive been going out with for a few years (but im still unsure if i will marry) i told my parents i was moving out and they pretty much said that they would disown me if i did... my parents mean alot to me so i didnt move out and now i pay for an apartment which i dont live at i wish so bad that i could live thee but im not sure if its risk loosing my parents... i know im only 19 but i work my butt off i go to school full-time and get decent grades (3.75 gpa) and work 35-45 hours a week and im not lazy at all i know i can  financially make confused being in this house make me miserable and depressed and i know that continuing to live here will make it worsebut if i move oout iwill be miserable because i will loose the relationship with my parents... im not sure what i should do and i donthave many friends because of my busy schedule and im not a very open person actually im pretty sure theres not one person in my life i trust or knows everything... sorry for wating your time by reading all this but atleast writing this has made me feel some what better

megan9690 megan9690
4 Responses Mar 15, 2010

Agreed. They are scared for you. Your parents will not disown you. They may make it difficult for a while, possibly for years but they will eventually come around. At least most do. You cannot live your life for others. Be the adult in this situation. Talk to them. Be loving but firm in your quest. Don't back down. I went throught the same thing when I was young. It takes guts, but well worth it.

Your parents will not disown you. They are scared for you and obviously dont know how to communicate either. Every parent has a hard time watching their child grow up and you said yourself they dont have a very healthy relationship with one another so its probably the same with you and them...unhealthy!<br />
You are an adult. I know 19 is still young in society's eyes but honey i know how you feel! I was on my own at 15 years old...and it was tough the real world is cruel and its hard once your not in your parents protection anymore. Life is what you make it and you cant not move forward just because of their threats. It may be hard at first but any decision in life can go really good or really bad at just have to be patient and eventually they will see how well you are doing and come back into your life very proud..and even if they dont...YOU NEED TO BE PROUD OF YOU!!...<br />
Im here for you if you need to talk..seriously im not an open book either but this site is beginning to help me to at least blow off the dust on my book of life...maybe someday ill start turning pages...xoxo Dee

Or you could just GO... I mean what are they going to do, kidnap you back? lol

Love your parents, be happy for them, accept them and stop letting them steal your joy by looking at their situation. Let that go and that will help take a load off of you. <br />
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I do understand about the independence thing. YOU ARE AN ADULT. You need to sit down and talk to you parents heart to heart and just be calm and rational and tell them that you are an adult and that you are moving, but do it in love and not in anger and do not throw into the mix your opinion of their situation... <br />
Sometimes 2 people are much better off being FRIENDS and lovers and stepping back from the relationship some, that is their business and their choice. They will work it out.<br />
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Tell them that they can't disown you because you are their child and you love them but you have the need to be independent and on your own. Ask them if it were them in your shoes, how would they feel and to please see it from your point of view and accept it.<br />
I know if my kids talked to me like that I would accept and support that decision. Just keep it on the subject and do not get off track with other things like their relationship status...<br />
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I really hope it works out for you! If not, can I have your apartment? lol Just kidding....