I Need Advice, Feedback, Help, Etc...

       Hi, I'm an 18 year old senior. Next year i plan on going to college but recently some thing have occurred in my life and i've been feeling alone, depressed, and angry. My whole life i have been the black sheep in my family. My dad, mom, and sister are all athletic and physical people. I am not. I am a music lover, musician, and i like being unique. I have always tried to make my parents happy by being successful in school, go out for sports teams, and get a job. Currently i have a job and my grades are good. I have been saving money for college. But now, for some reason, my dad thinks that if i go away to college it will be a mistake. My dad recently lost his job and is now starting over which I'm sure is very difficult, but i feel like he's taking it out on me. he made Threats that if i don't raise 5000$ by the end of the summer i wont be able to go to school next year. Also he's telling me that i need to get a second job. Every day i am bombarded by things I need to do(of course its my fault right? what about what they need to do) I'm told that i don't put in any effort, and i feel anything i do will not be good enough for my parents. They want me to have a more open relationship with them, but they don't realize the more they force me to do things their way, the less i want to have anything to do with them. I hate being told what to do and when to do it, especially when it seems like a command and not a request. My dad is unbelievably hard headed and will never see where i am coming from. They have a problem that i like to be on my own. I don't like to talk to them about my problems and i don't like to talk to them period. If you are reading this i'm sure you are unable to detect how angry and upset i am at the moment, but you can just assume. My whole life i have felt alone. My parents are engulfed with business and talking on the phone. When i get into the car with them sometimes they will talk on their phone until i get out of the car with out saying one word to me. This bothers me only because they hound me to be more social and open with them when they do the same thing. They need to change their actions before they will see any change in me.

  

ARDrumr ARDrumr
18-21, M
2 Responses Mar 16, 2010

I was (and still am) the black sheep of my ENTIRE FAMILY...not just my immediate one. I feel for you. I don't have much advice to offer you to help you immediately...except do your best to raise that money so you can go off to college and live your own life. I graduated high school 20 years ago and have never looked back. I'm pretty happy with who I am...being unique and different. I value...even require....my alone time. Don't give up who you are...

All I can say is that you are your own person. You are now an adult and when you graduate. you really need to live for yourself. That is a part of life. Do not do for people who do not want to do for themselves. Including your parents.