Idle Thoughts About Feeling Free

I want to know what it would be like to not have to share a bed with anyone for several weeks. I want to sprawl out and sleep in the middle of a big bed, and sleep under a heavy quilt to keep me warm. I want to be lulled to sleep with music playing. I want to leave the curtains open to let the moonlight in. I want to wake alone and lounge in bed reading for as long as I please.

I want to go to movies and restaurants alone. I want to pick anywhere my mood strikes and just go. I want to be alone with my thoughts, a journal, a good book, and a glass of wine. I want to see any bizarre, obscure art house movie Iā€™m interested in and have all the popcorn to myself, and not worry about anyone being bored.

I want to buy a plane ticket to Istanbul, or Mumbai, or Tokyo, or Rio de Janeiro, and go all by myself. I want to figure out where I want to go, what to eat, when to stop, and when to sleep. I want to strike up conversations with strangers, and connect with others that travel alone. I just want to be present in myself, and only concern myself with how I feel from moment to moment, and take no one else into consideration.

I want to feel the expanse of personal space around me, physically and emotionally. I want to feel safe and secure and to know ā€“ really know ā€“ that I feel that safety because I am enough. It would be so empowering, and joyful, and liberating.
ModLulu ModLulu
36-40, F
5 Responses Feb 7, 2011

I love your out look and opinions...brilliant....i totally agree with you ...x

I have gone to movies alone,when I travel for business I try to find a place where there are people that have gone there alone to eat in hopes of striking up a conversation,I just enjoy coming down from my hotel room and sitting at the bar even though I really am not a drinker,I love going for walks in a strange city and people watching.You are going to have to try it it will feel so good like the world has come off your shoulders.How can you get this done is the question?I have some suggestions but I don't know your total situation.Hope you find a way to get out there and experience all you want.

J: I would double-like this if I could!!

@ Meson: Going to films alone is one of my favorite things in the world to do.<br />
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@J: Thank you, as always. And I agree.

Going to see films alone is about the only way I will go now. I made the mistake of inviting a friend to the last film I saw, Inception, and had to tell her to stop trying to ad lib every scene.