Sometimes I Just Need Space

My first husband was a very distant person.  I had more space than I needed.  He kept his feelings to himself, so it was difficult to guage if he was upset, angry or even try to work out any problems when he just would not open up.

I spent a lot of years as a very happy single woman.  Then I thought I had met the man of my dreams.  He was a nice dresser, seemed to be very comfortable being around a smart woman with a good education, and he seemed to be very thoughtful.

As the years have gone by, he has gotten increasingly possessive and difficult to deal with.  He gets angry when I spend time with friends or even talk to my family or friends on the phone.  When my own mother was dying, he got angry and threw a fit that I was taking leave from work to be with her!  That was a game changer in my life!  I could never feel the same about a man who was jealous of my dying mother!

So, since that time, I try to do whatever I can in my own home to find things to do by myself - work on the computer, make a web page, write, read, go for a walk in the yard - just to put some space between us. 

He is jealous of my kids, my grandkids, my friends, my brothers & sisters, my work - you name it, he is jealous!  It is just totally ridiculous & it only makes me more and more distant and less willing to have any sort of relationship with the man.

weareonespirit weareonespirit
51-55, F
2 Responses Feb 16, 2009

this is destined .somebody when they first time see the world , they already hav a golden key in their mouth

I suppose that is true - that he needs a lot of attention. But holding on too tightly to someone just makes them move farther away. . .