Good Parent Or Incredibly Stupid!!!

And so here I go playing super mother trying to give my lost son yet another chance to get his life together and make something of himself.  He's been lying to me and his friends about his situation and I just found out the truth of things.  He WAS fired from his job of five months and came back here specifically to try and use me as a maid housekeeper restaurant again.  He is a conniving person, dishonest, and destructive.  He could have had everything that he wanted if he'd listened to me and did as I said.  This boy actually waited at the city bus plaza for me to pass through on the way to taking my grand daughter back home so that he could manipulate me into him staying with me again!!!!  I was SO adament about not letting him take advantage of me like he always has and I stupidly agreed to let him move in here with me AGAIN!!!  I REGRET giving him my word that he could stay here until he joined job corps and then enlisted into the Army.  Job Corps provides him with someplace to live longterm but it's going to take at least a month maybe two just to get him in a slot and the last time he was in the program he quit after two months.  I did tell him that this was the last time that I was gonna try and help him.  I finally got myself together after he dogged me and cursed me out and left me with all these bills to pay.  I would not be in this position if that so called friend of mine hadn't given my son my phone number.  Look at the chain of events since that one thing happened!!!!  I'm still very angry at him and his betrayal because it's lead me right back to where I had gotten away from.  I told my son if he didn't qualify for either service he was gonna have to leave and not come back.  He can go right back to where his father lives and handle his life there.  Right now he is with his oldest sister staying the night because I didn't want to wait around there while they had their fake family reunion.  It'd suit me just fine if he were to just stay with her.  They are both drug heads going no where so they will get along fine.  I made the necessary decision to keep distant from all of them to prevent getting wrapped up in what bad choices they make and trying to always help them fix what they mess up.  This is supposed to me MY time for ME to have my solitude without problems from other people.  My contentment is gone and my space is about to be invaded and I really HATE IT!!!!  I shoulda said no.  I wish I had told him no.  Look at what's happening to me already and he doesn't even know where I live.  I'm stressing over this and it's giving me a bad headache.  This is literally my last night alone in my new space that's supposed to be my sanctuary.  On a brighter note maybe a slot for high school diploma's will open up fairly quickly and he'll be out of here.  I told him I don't care if they have him chopping trees he was going and he would finish the course and then enlist in the Army.  There are just no more chances for him with me after this one so he can't afford to fail.  Meanwhile he needs to find himself a job and I don't care if it's part time.  

Comprehensive2 Comprehensive2
3 Responses Mar 14, 2009

Thanks for your wise comment I'm grateful

well at least your not enabling him anymore. Charge him for staying at your house, and treat him like a renter. Get a certified lease document, meaning your serious. My parents would do the same, except the lease form. Its to get my butt from mooching off. And it makes us not want to go home empty handed.

i am trying to help my son, who is an adult. my son has A problem,however he has made progress,in his life. I had to get help for myself in order to make the right decission for myself, dealing with him. I dont think you can help A person if they don't help them selves..<br />
<br />
best wishes HUGS**