Lost And Angry

I am a 36 year old widow. I lost my husband a little over a month ago. Kidney cancer stole him from me and many others. We were together for almost 9 years...he was my best friend, my soulmate and my rock! I'm very lost and angry. Life is going on for everyone around me... friends are having babies, planning vacations, buying homes ...they're just LIVING and i feel like I died with my husband!!
My husband was a great honorable man. He did not deserve to die so young (40)!! I miss him!
stakami stakami
36-40, F
3 Responses Sep 20, 2012

I understand your pain completely just lost mine in may.I cry every day, pray for him to become my angel every day, the days are a looooong laberinth the nights taste like the purest of pain. Anger they say it is normal????.nothing it's normal. But seek refuge in the most recent good or loving memory with him. Try to replace anger with gratitude for all the "I love you's". It will hurt a tiny bit less. Liz Loz

Your so young and its true its tough no matter what. I hope each day is filled with activity throughout the first year. the second year is time to think, and remember everything you went through together. God bless.

Hello, Im so sorry you lost your husband, as I understand. It is still fresh to you, and its numbing for a while. I know. im on year two and I do my best to try to start my day thanking God for him being in my life. I lit a candle with our wedding picture there. I told him how much I loved him and miss him I told him its going to be ok, I think. Go with God, and dont worry about me. I celebrated his birthday at a great place to eat and toasted his life with my son. If you can do these things, it will get better day by day. Some days are bad, somedays are good.
Some days are good, some are bad, and Im not sure when it gets better, maybe its when we are knee deep in the grief and actually feeling it daily for a bit. I try to push it away but now i have to walk in this. I had to sell everything and move into a big city with my son living 30 mn away. Im more alone then i have ever been in my life. But, one day at a time. So I hope that you know, you can talk about it here. Anything you want to say. We are here, and we understand. God bless