What Do I Do?

Last month I found out my marine is going to Japan for three years. I know this is something he has been wanting to do and I totally support him.  The problem is, he told me he wasn't going to accept the transfer because it would mean he would have to leave me.  I don't want to stand in his way because I dont want him to resent me if he does choose not to go.  l really want him to do what he has to do and be happy about it. So anyway, we talked and I ended up breaking off our relationship cause he really won't go because of me. I don't want to stand in his way.  He is not happy about what I did at all. We are still gonna be friends, we still talk every day, just havent seen him (skype) in a couple weeks.  Maybe I shouldve thought about this more before I reacted. I kinda made a hasty decision when he told me. I got scared. 3 years all the way in Japan. Id hardly be able to see him or talk to him. I really dont know if this is something I can handle. Im not cut out for the long distance thing that far away. Its hard enough being 2000 miles apart. How stupid.  My mom is furious with me. She said I should have talked with her first because there were probably other ways to handle this that wouldve been better. I didnt tell her for 3 days, but she knew something was up. Its probably too late now. I probably threw something really good away cause I'm immature, impulsive, and I got scared.  I keep telling myself "if you love something, sometimes you have to let it go". I'm only 18. This is my first real relationship. We wouldve been together 1 year this month. Gees, I couldnt even make it to our first anniversary. He's so sentimental. I think I really hurt him. He just won't say it.  Oh, I'm going on and on and not making any sense. Someone talk some sense in to me.  I'm so confused.   

hiscountrygirl hiscountrygirl
18-21, F
1 Response Aug 10, 2010

Hey there! Well, im in a quite a different situation than that. My Marine fiancee is deployed to Japan. I wondered though while i was reading this...and i don't know your situation and i'm not saying you made the wrong decision because there is NO doubt that long distance relationships with the one you love is the hardest thing ever!! But Would you be able to go visit and stay w ith him for periods of time? If i were able to visit my fiance i would totally fly out there for 3 or 4 months. It woul dbe reeeeelly expensive, and also if you are in school...But i just want to tell you - with how bad you feel and you obviously miss him like crazy and understand that you did make a quick decision, just remember love will find a way..If you guys are meant to be, even if it's 4 years down the road, you never know. So be strong! I do commend you on letting him go though, i've heard A LOT of stories about women holding back their men from joining the military and real women stand up and do whatever they need to do to make it work. So hang in there, be strong and remember that everything happens for a reason!