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The Way We Were

I look back to childhood, when everything was much more simple. Deciding who we were then, was not an issue. We just existed to have fun. Those were the formative years when the way we "wanted to be" was our main focus. Dreaming of the future and what path it would take us down was exciting. I know that as a small child, I never believed that anything bad would happen to me. I envisioned a perfect life of little resistance and unending happiness. What I didn't realize was that every negative thing that would happen in my life, would take a small piece of who I was and throw it out the window. I am not trying to be negative here. I am merely stating the facts of my life. With each trauma and devastating event, the little girl I used to be was replaced with a cynical and depressed adult. With each added worry and responsibility, my focus switched from what would make me happy to what would make everyone else happy. It was not until recently that I discovered where I went wrong. I decided it was when I offically grew up. All those years of wanting to be grown up, I was disillusioned to the reality that sometimes..not all the time...being a grown up is not fun. I tell my teenage daughter to slow down and enjoy life. No rush. Time flies fast enough as it is without the pressures that are put on kids. So..I have decided this. I am reverting back to that little girl. I am remembering what made me happy and where I wanted my life to go. It's like that saying "I wish I knew then what I know now." I will never lose the "real me" ever again. I will take the break in the middle of the work day and spend my lunch time swinging on the swings at the local playground. I will write down my dreams and keep them in a safe spot so I can read them at a moments notice. I will still try to decide what I want to be when I grow up. In my opinion, if you are in the right frame of mind, you will never lose yourself.

emptyheart emptyheart 41-45, F 2 Responses Sep 17, 2008

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I always find that, If you close your eyes and really concentrate for a fair old while you can bring these 'child-like' experiences back in the open and actually 're-live' them in a way...it takes some doing to start with but, after a while, it get's second nature where you can call up those feeling when, for example, you had your first icecream...your first concert...nice hugs from your mum...teachers at school being happy with you.. that kinda thing...<br />
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It works for me..and..y'know; It always leaves a smile on my face...<br />
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Sammy Jo Duponte xx

Save a swing for me my friend.