What's Up With This?

I have a real problem with cleaning my house. I think it's some kind of mental block. It's not filthy just cluttered,disorganized and dusty! I have dirty dishes piled up and I have a dishwasher! I start things and don't finish them. I don't like the fact that my house is like this but somehow I feel powerless to do anything about it. I become paralyzed for a lack of a better word. I keep thinking that if someone helped me clean I could do it. I don't have a lot of energy and I am depressed. What's wrong with me? I need help!
lotus lotus
51-55, F
4 Responses Feb 20, 2007

I can really relate to this. My house is a mess. I've recently tried to begin decluttering again. But the momentum seems to require some kind of a deadline like X'mas, or a visit or something. Anyway I definitely have a problem caring enough to follow through on any project I start.

Hi lotus,<br />
I came to this site for help regarding the same problem you have.... I feel very ashamed and pathetic... but like you... I kinda have a mental block with the cleaning.... I have depression and when something difficult happens into my life... I react in different bad ways... like now. This is not as bad as it had been in the past for me... I am working very hard to keep the depression away... I started working out in a gym, I'm trying to eat better... to keep positive... but cleaning my little apartment is just something I cannot seem to get back on track.<br />
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I think it's been months now that it's like this.... it's so bad... I wouldn't want anybody to come here, I would be so ashamed... I have trash everywhere... it's hard to walk cause there's so much stuff on the floor... dishes? don't even tell me about it... and I have a dishwasher too! it's so disgusting in my kitchen, I even have flies.... and I love to cook! but I haven't in a long time.... <br />
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I am the kind of person who always takes care of others... I always want everybody to be happy and well and I care so much about others... I was in love with this guy whom I probably lived for... but things didn't work out... and I didn't know how to take care of myself after that... I think the not cleaning problem comes from some kind of auto-destructive pattern I'm in... and the fact that I don't know how to care for myself... that I feel I am not worth it.... <br />
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I try to change my thoughts and think otherwise, I know deep down that I am a good person and that I deserve all the best, and that in order to care for others, I must care for myself first.... but the cleaning still doesn't get done... <br />
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I read your story and I was glad to meet someone who could maybe understand what I am going through.... perhaps we could help each other? I know that when I set myself little goals, and when I can talk about them with someone and let them know when I achieve them, it helps.... we would team up and set ourselves little goals maybe... anyway... thank you for sharing your story!

Don't let it get you down......make a date with yourself and set either a time limit or a specific goal, ie: I will dust the living room today. Then put on some upbeat music and get to it. You don't have to spend a lot of time on any one project. I hate cleaning but I find that having a messy house does affect my mood too, and I feel much calmer and at peace if things are tidy. It helps that my house is very small, too.

try to see the house a room wher you need to say all life<br />
so you beter try to doo, what is really nice<br />
try to see the howse a world where you will want do make a change<br />
start to be a voluntier for your happines in change to do nothing just complain<br />
you don't need a dishwasher, or you may<br />
but think the time and make a change for your one world that you have, be happy for your miss you clean , you win,<br />
<br />
now take some photo before you start to see the diffrents and you may have fun and feel complit, and see the house with beter eyes