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Elimination

For 14 years i have been married to a man whos mouth and off the wall temper has more than once.... ripped my heart out and left me lifeless. I have tried many time to get rid of him, but he refuses to leave.... i am one heck of a good wife....i work, clean, feed and wait on him, whole-heartly, why leave someone like me. I am a soft hearted woman but a Fool. Always being a crowd pleaser and never putting myself first.

It all changed last night after him being on a drunken roll for a week! The ugliness and hurtful behavior and words he dished out was all i could handle.
You see we have had company from out of state vacationing with my husband and i. They are reallly bad folks but they are my husband kin. I am the hostess with the mostess. huh.... anyway, my husband had an audience this week and he really was on his soapbox telling all how messed up i am and all that is wrong with me. I can't even explain how sick i felt listening to this.... in my face thinky! ....ALL lies....

I asked two days ago for these out of towner to leave, they were making everything dangerous for me! They refused and then went and told my husband what i asked of them. All hell broke out! He came home from work in a state of mind that would scare satan himself. wow.....

He began threaten my life, said he was going to gut my animals so i could come home to dead babies.  sigh.............. Then he said he was going to burn me out.... he "tried" to light a fire by the back door. ........ Let me add some history here..... in 2004, my son comes home from Iraq and this same day, due to electric short my house burnt to the ground. I lost Everything! The worse thing to do to me was what he tried to do!

I picked up a 7 foot walking stick and .... stopped him!!!!!!!!!!!! I maybe going to jail, he reported me to the police. I gave my outlook on the crap that went down. No arrests were made. Yes, i hurt him badly! The shame of my uncontrolled temper will haunt me for the rest of my life. I can not hurt even an ant.... :~(

So, today is the first day of the rest of my life. I can live in peace now. Never again will i worry or cry or stay sick from his abuse!
My decision to stay in my marriage has been made!!!  My lawyer will handle the rest. My husband is ..... no more!
Now for the next chapter of my life.

MorningBreeze MorningBreeze 56-60, F 46 Responses Jun 26, 2010

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How are things going for you now......have they gotten better ?

Wow, good for you ! That was 4 years ago, how is life now ?

good for you and as for you asking for them to leave in my book is the right thing to do because it is your house as well as his so you should have a say so in who stays and who goes. Good luck in your new life and when you find the right one make sure you are best friends first. they make the best husbands. or lovers.

;-).....................................

OMG... *smile* I wrote this almost 4 years ago. Damn... I've lived a lifetime in those 4 years too! I still turn the pages and begin new chapters... a never-ending story... till my end!

How sad! I wish you have a peaceful and beautiful life.

Should be about time to find someone who will treasure you for the precious lady you are.
Yes I do have someone in mind; and I would be most happy to be considered.

Considered...? You dear sir are a requirement for this precious lady\'s heart .... *smile*

I think that makes it a deal. Come over here I want a kiss to seal it.

Glad to know you Moved on to a new chapter...in the book of life. Abuse on a spouse is Toxic. But it doesn't have to be *With your Fist*...Verbal is enough..
I am divorced too. But for different reasons.
Good Luck

Thank you. I wish you many blessings as well. ...June 26th, 2010...3 yrs later and I am not the same... better, over the top..better.

I am so sorry about your husband & you are much better off without him than with him. He needs to be in jail as he sounds dangerous according to what you have written about him.

On a seperate note, any man would be fortunate to have you as their wife & if they mistreated you, they would be a fool to do so. I wish you a nice & happy life from here on. Please take care too.

he did go to jail twice in a year... not of my doings.. i rid myself of him right before things got real dangerous! i am very happy these days. i have love in my life, the tender kind, that making me go... yeehaw! *smile*

thru the years of my exs abusive ways... i learned what to look for in a man. i saw my choices in men were the same type of men and i ended up hurt and belittling myself cause of it. Yes, I live and Learned!
Thank you for those kind words. have a blessed day!

You are very welcome & I'm glad you found a man who is nice & will love & treat you well too. You deserve it & I hope you are truely happy & will be for the rest of your life. Hope you have a happy & blessed day too. Stay safe & well.

So good for you! I'm jealous! :) Thanks for sharing and inspiring me to be stronger in my decisions. Hugs

it was the most ugliest of days that day...time in my life. it was a day of reckoning, an over-dued day. i lost of much precious time and energy. my prayers and wishes of blessings go out to you soulrunher. hugs.... *smile* take care

Thank you sweet lady! I just noticed the date on the post. So are you divorced now? Do you have happiness in your life now?

Wow, you are a courageous woman indeed....glad you made it out of that bad joo joo...uck! How awful, you must forgive yourself, you were only trying to defend yourself. I can only imagine the courage it would take to undergo dealing with this man especially because you are such a giver. I hope things are getting better for you now....new hobbies etc. Life has so much to offer us even as single ladies!

yes, i am so much better in so many ways. that was one biggest milestone day of my life! it opened doors i did not know were there. i have forgiven myself, just recently.. never hurt anyone before... but would I do it again.. Yup! in a heart beat!

Good to hear....wouldn't mind having a friend like you...when the going gets tough people like us do what we have to in order to survive....I haven't been through that but I have been harshly controlled by the one I thought I loved and wanted to marry. Luckily we have broken up since and I am happily single...enjoying my life!

love that you ave been on here long enough to show the whole story i just found site the other day I hate facebook, all the stupid copy paste life is happy get over it stuff, this site is cool real life not just bs fake stuff. have only been on few times but there seem to be some real people here and am enjoying the stories thank you for being yourself and God bless

Blessing to you as well! Thank you. I have always written in my notebooks, learned thru... review. :) and then when i got a computer in 07..lol.. i began reading others, what they felt or went thru, exactly as i have.. well...a door flew open, and here i sit most days... jabbering away hoping someone like me comes along and says.... well i'll be! i ain't the only one going thru this. it helps, heals a soul to relate to others with the same mindset!

Wow...just wow.

it's been a.... OMG event! From that day to this day! But I am standing proudly, still a tad confused but... exhale.......... I made it thru!

I'm so glad you've made it through. You sound strong and focused on LIFE. I'm sorry for what you've endured. No one deserves to be treated that way.

I "allowed" such treatment!! Till the ... second in life told me... NO MORE! I followed the lead, got out, restarted myself... i am slow but sure!

I don't think that "allow" is the right word. We put up with things for a miriad of reasons - not all of them sane or rational - that we use to justify staying. "Allow" implies that they do it with our consent...not so. It's okay to accept responsibility for your own actions or inactions, but you don't have to accept responsibility for what another person CHOOSES to do.

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my mother in law had a abusive husband . he was real ******* not physicaly abuse but verbly and was a drunk he was a cop also . i never got along with him. he had heart attack died kinda of young. truth is her life is so much better now! she comes and goes as shep leases . she left him couple of times but always went back. . how or why anybody would treat some one they suposly love like that i will never under stand?? my wife most inportant person to me in world! sure i we get mad once in while and argue . but never that bad.

sad story! youdid what you had to do! good for you. try to enjoy rest of your life you deserve it. your x was a fool!! so many would love wife like you. he sure didn t love or apcreate you.

Thank you for the kind words. *smile* It seems that for the past couple of years, I've been climbing this huge mountain. Going thru emotions, becoming anew, experiences things.... it's been a OMG event! Happy New Year!

Sometimes you have to fire the photon torpedoes.......Good luck!

It's been over two years now.... omg... wow! It's been a wild ride, a learning experience I will never forget. BUT I hope I never will feel like that again. sigh....

Glad you got out of that nightmare of a marriage. It has always disturbed me that people can be so cruel to each other. Especially to the one they should love the most. Congratulations on your new life, hope everything is going well!

Thank you. i have nor will ever understand cruel people. if you don't like or respect one another... well..heck.. walk away. it took me many years to have courage, it was stolen, but i recovered it. : ) Yup... my new life is ever-changing, but in only good ways! Thank you! Blessings to you lostinmyownhome.

I wish to say something to all that are in doubt that they can make life better, saner, peaceful life for themselves by walking out of a marriage that is stealing their souls.... it can be done, nothing is free... it takes willpower and love for oneself to make a better life... standing alone! so... try it you might like it! It's been a test of character for me, but the worst is over and it was worth it!!!!!!!!!!!! *smile*

This exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank you so much for the inspiration.

Thank you! Happy Holidays! May this New Year that is coming up... be a bright new future for you. *smile*

Good on you. I was married for 17 years to a man I adored and gave everything to who treated me just the same, destroyed my self esteem, my confidence and my belief in who I was. I can happily say that I am now 8 years on and have never looked back. Be strong, be yourself and all will come well in the end and you will be stronger and better for the journey x

oh thank you! yup, my ex stole all those things from me as well. its be tough and trying... i been bouncing around hoping to settle.... i am getting there, it's been two years in another couple of months since i freed myself from him. It took 14 plus years for him to ... rob me of my self... i figure i got a few more years in totally healing from his abuse. everyday is a challenge but i do alright cause i will never give up on myself!

Oh YOU are after my heart, I hate abusive drunks that threaten animals and women. IS it all over by now, this was written a while ago?

he still ... bugs me by ..whatever... he "trys" to get under my skin but.. I will not allow it and it rolls off my back .. easier now! ;) ... almost two years.... i see the light and i am glad i am where i am and happy to be who i am! so.. i have been blessed.. through all the bs and pain..yee haw! i survived!

Are you divorced now? I am happy that you have survived and are blessed. Ye Haw!

Enlightenment comes to us in many different ways and in many different forms, but the key is that the message was delivered and you heard it. It is sad that you had to endure the abuse and disrespect for so long. I am so happy you found the strength to end his bullshit and begin a journey down a new path. You deserve happiness...

it's almost been 2 yrs now, i am doing just fine and better all the time. beginning to not put up with any kind of bs these days. it does take strength to even say No! ;) thank you.

........re read WOW! *smile* sigh............ COOL! i believe the worse is over... finally. yeehaw!

Hello IWB... boy is it hard learning the hard way! but yup.... self-discovery is a powerful feeling... thIS past year... i am better than i have been in yearssss.... sure i bite the dust every now and then... but i bounce back quicker, this is good!



Thank You hon. Hope all is well in your world. Take care

You'll never know how strong you are until you are put into a situation to find out how strong you can be. I am not happy that you went through hell, but I am pleased that you are finding out more about you. Self-discovery is a wonderful thing. It is a very empowering feeling.

ThatFeeling, Thank you. I believe i am on the path i need to be on, for now. But ... more adjustments need to be made. I'm working on it! I hope so, i would like to be appreciated! *smile*

OkCountryBoy, Thanks! It's been a year and almost to the day .. a month. So in 13 months i have learned more about me than i have my other 50 plus years!! *smile* Kinda cool, interesting and full of challenges. Let me tell you... lordy! the changes and ...heck the ride of it all has been ... mind blowing, eye opening trip!

I still think of that day i totally .... wasn't myself, the fear and anger ...wow... what a combo! Made me sick. But at least i know now that if i need to ...Protect myself, i can and will!

My best wishes for you. Find your path, you have incredible patience. Someone will appreciate you.

I didn't read the others comments. mine is: my heart both breaks for you and applauses your actions to defend yourself from keeping him from burning the house down.. You are obviously a strong woman.

bukks, well my friend, it's almost been one year, huh..lol... wow! i have learned to rely upon myself... i am proud of where i stand here and now. ...sigh.... lots of changes, sometimes too many at a time. .... just lately i have made a big decision, lol... another change. i have embraced my life. i am ...checking myself out and who i am and what i want....without anyone to ask, or please. this single life can be grand, lonely too but i was lonely with that man .... of yesterday! *smile* Thank you for your kind words. take care

Je--ez, i almost wept reading yr story ma-aam! So sad to see and hear how a lovely and sacred union made by God could turn into a total misery and cruelty. Anger when uncontrolled can be dangerous but if you had continued with this terrorist, who knows, your own life would have been a history and you will not be here to share with us.



Put all the sadness and bitterness behind you now and embrace a fresh new love that could come your way. This time do not feel life without marriage will be boring or not complete. Just LIVE the life you will sit back and enjoy a good L-A-U-G-H-T-E-R and please have fun. Life is pretty too short !!!

Thank you ALL! I am sorry about leaving a few of you without a comment in return!! I wrote this June 21....huh...wow.... here it is Oct. 24th....Hell of a ride!



I have survived! *smile* Better every day, learning as i go along. Yes, a true blessing! Scars and all! I never allow one bad apple to spoil the rest neither!



Namaste