I Miss My Wife.

Most of the time I live with a woman who used to be funny, kind and wonderful. I think about her all the time and wonder where she went. The lady she has been replaced with seems to forget that I even exist. I remain hopeful but am almost at the end of my rope.
jmc132 jmc132
41-45, M
16 Responses Feb 9, 2011

sometimes I don't think marriage is worth it. mine ended in divorce. it just loses its kick after a while. people get bored or never really were interested in one another to begin with. it also could be a sign of depression.

I can understand how you feel. Have you considered couples counseling?

yeah. I used to be nice too and have been replaced by a cynical sarcastic so and so. It's easier that way so I don't get hurt. Perhaps she is hiding from feelings.

This story really touched my heart, because my husband has said very similar things to me. I wish I could tell him that I DO love him, and that my withdrawl from life is a coping mechanism to keep me going. I wish I could take back the last five years and relive them, to make him feel more loved and cherished, and to enjoy them myself, instead of this cynical ***** whom I've become. He loved the person he was married to in the beginning and I'm not that person anymore. He loved what he thought he saw inside me, and when it didn't manifest itself, he started thinking about ending it. Now, he's waiting to make a decision. I know I should "just start living", but with so many years of living death in recent history, I don't even know where to begin. If she's anything like me, she still loves you and is terrified that you'll leave her alone. I hope everything works out for you.

I feel like I'm in the same boat and don't know how to fix it. I know it is a two way street and asked her bluntly what did I do, what should I change and are you seeing someone else? She swears that she never cheated on and tells me I need to listen better. I have gone to marriage counseling alone, she won't come and questioned her texts to a man in her industry that she says is a friend just like the girls. I told that I didn't like and almost walked out. She promised me that the texts are nothing emotionally or sexually charged but her phone is locked down like Ft. Knox. The psychologist I've been seeing does not feel she is cheating because of the entire story but I'm tormented by the secrecy of it. That is where I am and hopefully there is something in here that can help you. I just joined this page seeking some kind of sense of my relationship. Good luck.

maybe she feels the same

Go up to this person, look her over very carefully and then ask what did you do with the wonderful woman that I married? I know an imposture when I see one. Bring her back!

Milky thinks the strong women and loving men of EP are giving you some good advice and encouragement, JMC. She hopes that you find that funny, kind and wonderful woman again. ox

Is your wife going through a health crisis like peri menopause ? It can really change a woman's whole personality.Maybe she needs a health check and lots of love and support.Maybe you need lots of love and support too.

i'm sorry for your hurt in your marriage that you have warmly expressed here. i believe your wife is soul searching, withdrawing to reflect. encourage and support her time...gift certificate her with things that nurture and enrich her spirit such a dance class, writing workshop, yoga class, anything you feel she may enjoy to herself. sometimes wives lose themselves or feel like they are losing themselves and this may cause a mild depression, whch this sounds like. honor her space, nurture her, and as her spirit uplifts, your wife as you knew her will return. thank you for sharing.

had the same problem as u, my wife and i didnt talk ,we separated things were bad, but in the end we realized we need each other, now things r better between us, hope it doesnt happen to u but if it does it may work out in the end, try to talk to her and c if together yall can figure out what the problem is, remember it take 100 percent from both of u for things to work out. hope this helps u and mayb a little pray want hurt nothing, i'll b thinking of u freind good luck and god bless

I read your post, and wish I had a husband who would have felt that way about me. You have received great advice here...don't give up just yet!!!

when you walk by her in the hallway grab her hand and look her in the eyes and say I love you. my husband said this to me and i fell back in love with him. go to therpay with her. Find out what is wrong.

Thank you for the support, Michelle1978 good advice, I will try again this romantic week.

I'm not married so don't take my word for it but marriage takes work !! Why not try taking her a romantic date tonight and leaving all your worries behind, may ignite that fire once again...my point is show her much attention, she may just need it !! Good Luck !!

Jmc132,<br />
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Great post and know how you feel, where did she go? Good luck my friend.....