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I Am Very Curious....

with the national divorce rate now at 53% the chance that you will get divorced is greater than the chance you will stay married.

my parents are divorced.

my mom is going through her second as we speak.

married men hit on me non stop.

i know women and men having affairs.

lets just say a lot of things have been mixed together to create my not so positive outlook on marriage.

my mom and dad say that they just got married too young, that people do a lot of their changing and growing in there twenties which makes it very likely to grow apart.

is that true? do people get divorced because they get married too young?

or has true love been lost forever?

LittleLady LittleLady 19-21, F 41 Responses Feb 25, 2008

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no true love is not lost... its just with increasing population, increasing different thoughts and new concepts always a flowing, with increased everything and also society influences and media and and and and and and and..................................................................................................................................<br />
the percentage/ ratio of u finding ure person out there grows slimmer. <br />
<br />
"on a bigger playing field - u better get out there and play big"<br />
<br />
now im not saying go a sluttin but ya gotta make sure ure not staying in one spot all the time waiting for mr/ ms right

In my case, my wife and I both had been alone for a very long time, and when we met, we were just excited that we didn't have to be alone anymore. I personally ignored some red flags early in our relationship and now regret getting married to this woman. However, I am a Christian and believe that God hates divorce, and so I know that I must commit my feelings and this marriage to Him and trust that He will work a miracle. It was a mistake for us to get married, but God has a way of taking our mistakes and working them for good. I have to admit, though, that I do feel sometimes like it would be best for us to separate.

The statistics don't even tell half the truth. Yes 53% of marriages fall apart but many of the ones that don't are still horrible. I don't know anybody who is really and truly in a happy marriage. That doesn't mean it can't be done. Society has changed so rapidly in the past few decades and I honestly think most people don't have a clue as to what marriage is supposed to be about. They expect that you will be wonderful all the time and never make them feel bad or they'll just trade you in. Marriages are supposed to be forever. I never plan to get married, or have kids. I just don't see any reason to mess up your life that way. People are just too selfish to make it work anymore. Sorry.

the only one that can truly decide on if you should stay or go, is you love... but from my experience i ended up divorced cause time had changed my ex hubby an me... but i got married for the wrong reason to start of with.

Growing apart can happen for many reasons. Marrying very young increases the likelihood of it happening, but it's hard to say how much. I got married at 27 and my wife was 25. We have grown apart and I don't think we were too young. The biggest reason, for me, that we have grown apart is that she has become disinterested in anything romantic or sexual with me, or anyone else for that matter. I don't know why. I think if you feel a strong attraction to your mate and make a conscious effort to keep it a high priority, you can make it.

dear little lady,<br />
<br />
After seeing your parents' marriage, I am sure, you know why divorce happens. i also think that you will make abetter spouse than your parents because of your experiences.<br />
Life is exrtemely difficult and complicated. there are no sure fire answers for anything. But yes, there are mainly3 basic reasons:<br />
<br />
Lack of knowledge<br />
Lack of compatibility<br />
Pressure from within the marriage, family and yes, from outside.<br />
If you are unemployed and have no money, chances are that you and you spouse will fight about money and later that may lead to divorce. If you were not short of money, then probably there are lesser chances of divorce. Because of the economic recession, there have been double the number of divorces. If recession had not happened, those couples would still have been married.

I would think that getting married to young would be a large percentage of that 53% you speak of.<br />
Many times people don't even know who they really are yet. Years later you may find that who you really are, or who they really are, isn't at all who you thought.

Remember that the statistic of 53% is of ALL marriages. Far more second and third marriages fail than first marriages, so to quote the total average when considering a first marriage is not statistically sound. Just sayin'.

the fact that your parents are divorced does not mean you are gonna be too. i had set my mind to not ever get married because i was gonna get divorced anyways, until i met this guy that changed my way of thinking. we are married already. i didn't ba<x>sed my marriage to my parents, i ba<x>sed it on my grandparents. they got married before the Vietnam war, my grandpa left my grandma, and luckily he came back to her. till this day they are still married, their children have children and some of their children children's have children... that's a story and people you should ba<x>se o, no the negative ones...

watch fireproof, can save ANY marriage if both want to make it work

I agree. This was one of the movies my wife and I watched together that helped turn things around. We saw many similarities in our situation and in the reconciliation attempts. It is well worth watching.

People get divorced sometimes because they didn't know the person well and once they did they realized something that was a deal breaker, but in most cases it really is lack of trying. Sometimes one person tries and the other doesn't, and sometimes both people stop trying, but you can't grow apart all that easily if you are making an effort to grow together. <br />
<br />
The biggest reason the divorce rate is higher is that it's easier to meet new people and in general society will move on much too quickly if something isn't exactly the way they want. I think humanity is losing its grasp on commitment, not to relationships specifically, but as a whole