My Husband Abuses Me Emotionaly , I Am Pregnant And It's So Difficult To Make A Decision !!!!

I am 26 years old moroccan girl. I met someone on Internet 2 years ago we fell in love and decided to get married. We struggled a lot to be together cuz he lives abroad and visa procedure was taking too long. I finally succeeded in joining him and now it has been 5 months since I moved to his country ( he is also Moroccan but wasn't born in morocco). It was very hard for me to adapt to the new country and be away from my parents but that wasn't the real problem. After only one month I discovered that he smokes weed ... He spends the whole day working and when he comes home he locks himself in his room and smokes and works. Lately he started going out to smoke with his friends and comes home very late. I spend the whole day alone waiting for him. Because of that we started to fight a lot. In addition to that he gets sooo mad sometimes about stupid stuff and yells at me and insults me and calls me names. Last week we were fighting and during the argument he spit on my face. 2 months ago he slaped me soo hard that I felt my neck broke cuz I am talking to old classmates on fb and he started saying horrible things to me then I told him "u are not a man" and he slaped me. He keeps telling me that it's impossible that I got a university degree and that I was living in a country where people are dirty ... After the fight he alwaHpys Asks for forgiveness , he even cries sometimes when I tell him I decided to leave to my country. And I feel so sorry for him and forgive him. Now am pregnant and things got worst. He comes home late and drunk and says he does this cuz he is so stressed about work ( he has a stressing job) and he says he drinks now cuz I am the problem , that am not monotonous and that he goes out cuz I am always depressed. But am depressed cuz of him... I have so much to say but this story is getting too long so am gonna stop ( by the way he is sometimes a very good husband ) please help me am so confused ....
Coeurdelait53 Coeurdelait53
26-30, F
4 Responses May 9, 2012

Go home for the health and safety of you and your baby. He's using weeds and among a billions reasons as an excuse to abuse you. There is no justification for any reason to abuse anyone in anyway especially if the one you love. Leave him alone and let him see himself. Think about the love that is growing inside of you. Your husband is a grown man, he'll know how to take care of himself but your baby will need you. Pray for your husband but leave him. Time will lead us all to where we are meant to be.

This is not about fair, this is about you having rights as a wife and friend. He is selfish, boorish, and not a man if he is hitting you. You do not deserve that. Can you go back home? If I were you I would. Leave him BEFORE the baby comes while it is easier to do it alone. It will be much more difficult once the baby comes. If he think and feels all these things and blames you and calls you names. It won't change. Because it is his problem not yours. What I have found in the 29 years I have been married is that you can not stop the abuse of an abuser. You can not change them. It is inbreded in to there soul. Perhaps they saw there parents like that, I don't know. But it will not stop until you get out! My EX husband emotionally, physically and verbally abused me. It will not be easy, but you can do it. Contact your family, tell them you need help. How would your father feel if he knew that your husband was doing these things to you? I hope they can help you get away, before he takes to beating you and the baby. You have to think of both of you now.

Thanks for the reply. I am so confused because he sometimes an ideal husband , he buys gifts for me and calls me from work just to say " I love you" . But he he doesn't spend time with me and when we argue about something " like his addiction to hachich" he get soooo mad and doesn't control his anger sometimes it happens in the car and it freaks me out. I always think about the great time we spent together especially before marriage and the good things he did for me but I also can't forget the picture of him slapping me that day and the way he insults me and underestimate me when he is mad. I think he has a psychological problem. Now I am in morocco and he went on a trip to the USA with his friends. My parents think I should go back to him cuz I don't have a job and I can't support my baby and also cuz divorced single moms in morocco are looked down upon. They think I should give him a chance but I can't take his insults when he is mad at me anymore ...

I can understand your confusion. All of his actions is probably the drugs. What country are you in now? I understand being looked down upon. That is how it used to be here in the USA too. But not anymore. Women became more liberated when the government gave them the same rights as men. Here things are equal, and a single mom or dad is no big deal. Can you get work where you live? Are the places you can go for single mothers? I know different countries and cultures have certain rules.

My husband lives in holand , I moved to holand only 7 months ago. Now am in morocco with my parents I came to visit them last week and I decided to stay. My husband doesn't know yet that I decided to divorce and stay here. It's so difficult to get a job here but I can always try. Am also worried that he takes my baby from me or convinces him to live with him in holand when he is older cuz my husband has more mOney and better life conditions. Am so frustrated :(

Thanks hannamint :)

sounds familliar, you deserve to be happy in your life, and anything that is making you unhappy should be taken out of the picture. You've changed your whole life just for him, and if he isn't treating you right then that isn't fair. xx