I Need Help...I'm 21 years old, my husband is 26. We've known each other since I was 14, and he was the youth group leader everyone had a crush on. I was 18 when we got engaged, and two months after I said "yes", we found out we were pregnant. Because I had family out of state, we kept our original wedding date. We had our son June 2010 and got married in July 2010. Now we have been married for over two years, and our son is almost two and a half.
I am falling out of love with him. We've been having problems seeing eye-to-eye for a long time. He's very self-centered and just overall not who I thought he would be. He doesn't listen, communicate, or put forth any effort for our relationship. He has no drive to better himself. I'm in college, work, and take care of the house. I do everything and it's really taking a toll on me. I don't know if I was young and in puppy love with my husband. Maybe I was just star struck by who he was in my past.
We have a group of guy friends that we always hang out with. All of them have a better relationship with our son than his own father. When we hang out, the guys often play video games while I play with our son. If he walks in front of the tv, my husband yells at him to move. Any of the other guys pick him up and playfully distract him.
The most difficult part is that one of those guy friends and I are falling in love. He's everything I want. The way he makes my son happy melts my heart. He's so passionate about life, love, and family. He wants me to be happy, and not just if it was with him. Any time one of us says something, the other is always thinking it. We're the same person, same heart in two bodies.
One of our other guy friends knows our situation. He says I'm happier with our friend and that we should go for it because my husband will never change. I agree, my husband isn't going to change. But I can't be a single mom. I can't take care of my son by myself, as well as finish school and keep my job. Everything would change, and I hate change. I don't know if i can see myself without my husband, but right now we're basically just roommates. But if I stay, I might miss my chance at the perfect guy for me.
(I understand that this shouldn't be a choice between men, but more marriage/divorce, then about the other guy is divorce is the first answer.)
In the end, I want my son to be happy. Will he be happier in a broken family living under the same roof or after a divorce?
What do I do? I'm lost.
Lorecia 18-21, F 0 Nov 10, 2012