DifferencesSo I found myself over the kitchen sink doing dishes barking out my beliefs as if he were my worst enemy. Wtf is wrong with me today?
Im so full of pains and troubles that Ive grown bitter and on guard over mearly every little thing in life. I continued to freak out on him on how we were raised differently, how he was most like his father. How unhappy that made me.
Compared his intentions to my own, pointed out my priorities and how screwed up I thought that his were. Ugh.....this IS the man I love...how can I be so back and forth like I am!?
This marrige is nothing short of bipolar!!!!
I find myself at time staring across the room, just wanting to sink myself inside of his flesh. Wanting to kiss him so pationately, wanting to voice what I feel and how much I care. Yet there are days like this I cant stand who he is, where hes from and how his past comes to play into my own life.
Why cant life just be NORMAL ....is that really too much to ask?
Once upon a time I feared a love like this. I was afraid it would take away whom I really was. Now its all become so clear to me that love DOES change who you are. Its all about compromising....all abt give and take. Do men tally up their good deeds? Do they expect something in return for everything they do? And if so is that really 50/50 in a relationship? I find myself sifting thru the past year and trying to recognize whats really going on here. Is this a "toxic" relationship , a stepping stone or just our way of growing strong? Im so lost here...thoughts?!