Meaningless Situation

hello all dear ones....

my name is swapna, i am born and brought up in bangalore. i am MBA-HR and working in an education institution. i am married for 8 years and have 2 cute kids(boys) one is of 7 yrs and other is 2 and half years. i am in a mental tension. that is my hubby has typical habit of beating me up for any silly reason. my hubby is a far relative of mine and also 10 years older to me. he once came to my house to give his brother's wedding invitation and saw me he got interested in me and got married to me. I am the only daughter to my parents and have one younger brother. my parents have performed my marriage very grandly and have also given me jewelery and jewelery to him as well as they demanded at the time of marriage. they also demanded for a site and my parents have given that as well. my mother-in-law is with us from 10 months she always misguides him. he listens to her very much and ignores me also he beats me up even in front of her. so this has become habit. to him. 3 months before he bet me infront of his mother for asking why you boozed and came at this time(he had come at 11 o clock) but then my mother in law supported him wat will happen he is a guy he can do it.i was worried bcos i boozed and drived his bike so i was scared. he inturn thought his mothers support was there and beaten me up tat my nighty got tore and i ran to the street with torn clothes. my brasier also visible. this hurts me. since 7 yrs i am taking his beatings but this time tat is in the last month october 19th i had been to temple for navaratri pooja and wen i was back my husband asked y u should go to tmeple without cooking to my mother though i had cooked and gone sambar and rice but since his mother is a diabetic so she wants ragi ball. but i told him i would prepare in some time within tat he argued so i too raised my voice so he came and bet me very badly. the bruises all over my body and i was very upset so i immediately dialed 100 and informed police control room. since it was nyt 10 clock tat this incident happend so 2 constables came and asked wat happend and so he spoke to him saying tat always i go and sit in my mom's house and every day i come home late. but they believed him. i leave my kids in my moms house and go to work my moms house is just in the next lane. so i will go to pick my kids every evening. and next day i went to police station and given a written complaint but i requested them to consider it as mild and give him a counselling session bcos he is in central govt job and if treated seriously he would lost his job. but since then i am in my moms house, neither he has come to see kids nor he has come to pick me up. he has not called nor msg me since 2 months. he and his mother is there in tat house. i want to go back but feeling somewat bcos he's not come and called how will i go. please suggest me wat to do.
swapna135 swapna135
26-30, F
2 Responses Dec 20, 2012

Abuse= you can't go back.
You shouldn't be covering for him by telling the police not to give him his just reward. This is called "enabling" or being "co-dependent," which means that you are allowing him to live life badly without normal repercussions because you are covering for him. You are not helping him, or yourself, or anyone else by doing that.
Find a support system of people who also believe this.

Let me begin by saying I have a good understanding of your culture and the situation you are in.

You can not go back. Your husband has abused you and you children by hurting you.

You are better off single and alone then with a man who hurts you. The police were wrong not arrest him even if it does mean he loses he is job. When he made your feelings and health none of his concern when he hit you then it became none of your concern over if he keeps his job or not. By hurting you he made the choice to lose his job if that is what happens.

He does not want you. If he wanted you he would call. You have your children too and he should have called at least for them as a father. This is no man this a pathetic excuse for even a boy. Little boys do not hit their mothers like that. He is not a father and not a husband. Forget about him make your self forget him.