Unhapply Married, Unhappy Alone

I am married to a man that I am not attracted to in any way. I love him I think. I just dont know. I grew up in a house being told Love is everything. I met a guy who makes me feel happy and alive again. I sat at home in bed for days at a time being depressed and unhappy. I feel better with this other man. But there is problems there too. I just dont know where my life is headed. I dont know if I will ever feel one hundred percent happy again. I know with my husband bills are paid and I have a roof over my head and water and food and everything I will ever mean. I just dont think I should stay if I am not happy.

depressedsoul88 depressedsoul88
6 Responses Oct 9, 2008

I feel the same way about my husband. I haven't found someone else though. I do know that If I get a divorce I need to work on me before getting involved with someone else.

I highly suggest you talk to your DH and tell him you are unhappy and unsure of your feelings and goals for this relationship. One of my biggest mistakes was that I never felt I could communicate to my husband because I didn't want to hurt his feelings. for years I tried to fix things on my own, or tell mysefl things weren't that bad and I could just deal with it. Now that I can't take it any longer, he has been completely taken by surprise. It would have been so much easier had he known there were problems all along.<br />
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So if you think you want out, start talking now. It will be easier for you in the long run. Either because he will at least know of your unhappiness or because you work things out and decide to be happy with what you've got.

All I can say is good luck. At least you kind of know what's going on with the other guy, unlike me.

Im screwd up myself, dont know what to say but. Follow your heart. Do whatever it takes to be happy.....<br />
Good luck

you are geting habituated with your husband.do arrange to go on a month course outside your locality where your husband cannot reach you easily physically.you need to discover that this other man is not worth the trouble and this can only be dicover if you and the other are left alone for a great while.it is an unusual option but it works.your husband suprisingly might agree with there is need for both of you to live apart from a while without bothering to find out what you are up to.only for a while.it is a phenomenon called habituation where you cant seems to appreciate what and who is always there.wife swapping may be strange but most men dont consider it a very bad idea.men will entertain a legitimate option to sleep with another woman and i guess quite a number of women too.

Hello. I guess i can only state what i think is obvious. As easy as it is for me to say it to you i do understand that it is much more difficult for you to actually take advice and go through with it. Fat, skinny, scars n all, there really is someone for everyone. Maybe as difficult as it sounds you and your husband should do something together socially, go to some event or something where you can both mingle with different people. You already have someone who you think makes you feel whole again. Maybe he will do the same, make new friends, meet new people. Just an idea?